Dead or Alive?
by ZukoLuvahh
Summary: When Harry called out Sirius' name into the mirror, no one responded. Harry goes to sleep, dissapointed, only to find his parents' and Sirius' smiling faces staring up at him from the mirror. PLEASEE R&R ur suggestions are always appreciated : THANKS :
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys!!!! It's me!!! :DDD anyways, i know i asked u guys what title i should put; this is just a temporary title, just till another, better one comes up :) anyways, so, please tell me if u guys like it or not, because then i'll continue :) oh yeah! and, please do the poll on my profile, it'll help me LOADS thanks :) and please R&R :) ur suggestions are ALWYAS welcome :) thanks again!!!

**Chapter 1**

Harry sank down on to his bed and unwrapped the package. Out fell a small, square mirror. It looked old; it was certainly dirty. Harry held it up to his face and saw his own reflection looking back at him.

He turned the mirror over. There on the reverse side was a scribbled note from Sirius.

_This is a two-way mirror, I've got the other one of the pair. If your need to speak to me, just say my name into it; you'll appear in my mirror and I'll be able to talk in yours. James and I used to use them when we were in separate detentions. _

Harry's heat began to race. He remembered seeing his dead parents in the Mirror of Erised four years ago. He was going to be able to talk to Sirius again, right now, he knew it –

He looked around to make sure there was nobody else there; the dormitory was quite empty. He looked back at the mirror, raised it in front of his face with trembling hands and said, loudly and clearly, "Sirius."

His breath misted the surface of the glass. He held the mirror even closer, excitement flooding through him, but the eyes blinking back at him through the fog were definitely his own.

He wiped the mirror clear again and said, so that every syllable rang clearly through the room:

"Sirius Black!"

Nothing happened. The frustrated face looking back out of the mirror was still, definitely, his own….

Sirius didn't have his mirror on him when he went through the archway, said a small voice in Harry's head. _That's _why it's not working….

Harry looked at the mirror for another minute before hurling the mirror into his trunk, furious and frustrated. He resumed gathering his things, furious and disappointed. After another minute or so, he stopped piling his things up onto the bed and looked back at the shattered mirror in his trunk. He started at it for a few moments before sighing and walking back over to the trunk.

He pointed his wand at the shattered pieces and said, in a defeated and sorrow voice, "Reparo." He lifted the mended mirror out of his trunk and went and sat on his bed with it. He looked at it, a tear sliding down his cheek. He closed his eyes for a moment, just basking in the memories of his beloved godfather.

That's when he lost control. He couldn't stop the immense sobs coming out from his chest. He hugged the mirror to his chest, full of remorse, and fell asleep there; tears and all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Oh my gosh! He looks exactly like you!"

"SHH!!! You're going to wake him up!"

"But –"

"No buts! Just keep your mouth shut! You're such a baby, you know that right? I still cannot _believe_ that you're a father, to be honest with you," Harry heard someone sigh. Then he heard another voice chuckle sadly.

"Not like we had much time to really register the fact, yeah?" Harry then heard a loud thump.

"What the hell was that for?!?!" Harry heard the same voice yell.

"Stop being such a prissy, Prongs!" Harry's eyes flew open upon hearing his father's old nickname. Harry then recognized the voice that had just spoke. It was too good to be true….

_I'm dreaming,_ Harry decided.

"_Both_ of you be _quiet_! If any of you wake my son up, there'll be hell to pay!" Harry heard a woman's voice threaten. With a jolt he realized who it must be. Harry heard Ron groan and realized, shocked, how loud they must be. Harry cast the _Muffliato_ spell around his four-poster bed. He then took a deep breath and sat up in his bed, lifting the mirror up to his face, bracing himself for what he was about to see; but, no amount of mental preparation could have prepared him for the shock he got when he saw the 3 most treasured people in his life standing together, arguing, talking, and laughing. Harry's breath caught in his throat. He couldn't say anything; he just sat there and stared at his dead parents and godfather, not being able to get enough of them.

He studied his mother's face, especially her eyes. _She's beautiful,_ he thought to himself. He studied his father next, astounded at the similarities between himself and his father. They both had the same stuck-up stubborn hair, the same chin, the same nose, practically the same everything! Harry then looked to his godfather, and was shocked to see that his godfather looked at _least_ 15 years younger; his eyes were alight with happiness and peace, and yet, there was a tiny spark of sadness still in them. He kept staring at them, until, finally, James noticed. He gasped.

"Li – Lily…" he trailed off, looking overwhelmed. She had been staring daggers at Sirius, and now she had transferred that gaze to James.

"_What_ James?" she asked him, still furious with him for being so loud when her son was sleeping. A smirk slowly spread across James' face.

"You might not want to talk to your _husband_ – the ­_father _of your _child_ – like that, Lils. Your not setting a very good example for him when it comes to respecting your superiors," James teased her. She growled and hit the back of his head.

"Ow!" he protested, laughing. Suddenly, what James had said registered in both Lily's and Sirius' head at the same time. They both turned to the mirror with tears in their eyes. Lily's tears were of happiness, and, although Sirius was trying to make his look like they were of happiness as well, Harry knew better, although he decided not to comment on them _just_ yet.

"Harry…" Lily whispered, overwhelmed at the fact that she could finally talk to her son face-to-face in a situation that wasn't weird or stressed or strange in _any_ way. She put her hand up to the surface of the mirror, as if to touch his face. Harry felt his own eyes prick with tears.

"Mum…" he whispered, longingly. He, too, had begun to move his hand to touch the surface of the mirror when he pulled it back violently, his face darkening. Lily looked at him questioningly. "It's too good to be true," he said simply. The tears that had been building in Lily's eyes finally cascaded down her face.

"I know it's hard to believe… but… trust me… it's all real," she said, sincerely, practically begging for him to believe her. James and Sirius nodded beside her. Harry's heart yearned to comfort his mother, but what if this was a trap set by Voldemort, somehow? What if… Voldemort… was… somehow… trying to lure him into some other trap?

"If it's all real, then how you guys didn't answer right away when I called for Sirius? Huh? How come? Is there some kind of slow reception or something?" Harry asked, taunting them to give him that excuse. James took the mirror from Lily's shaking hands to answer Harry's question. He looked Harry straight in the eyes, and this time, there was no humour on his face _at all_, and, from what Harry had heard about his father, that was _highly_ unusual.

"Harry, this is _real_ – I guarantee you."

"You still didn't answer my question," Harry pointed out, wanting to believe that this was all real, _so badly_. However, he kept his desperation hidden.

"That would be _my_ fault, Harry," Sirius interrupted, a sheepish look on his face. Harry raised an eyebrow at him in question. "I – um – left the mirror at my place when I went to your Dad's place for dinner last night… so… yeah… sorry about that." He looked at Harry in sheepish apology.

Harry went over the points they had given him in his head, and, to his relief, they all made perfectly good sense. However, he was still unsure, so he had to ask something which the answer would be answer that only people from 'Heaven" would know. Harry's eyes lit up: he had thought of the perfect question.

"Relay what happened in Dumbledore's office, to me." Sirius, James, and Lily all looked at each other, before Lily began to speak in a trembling voice. James kept his arm around her during the whole thing, giving her moral support.

***

After they had finished relaying the night's events in Dumbledore's office to Harry, he was finally convinced that he really _was_ talking to his dead parents and godfather. They all looked at him, anxious about his verdict.

"Dad, couldn't you have picked a more _conspicuous_ animal to transform into when you decided to become an Animagus?" Harry teased him. James grinned at him, understanding that he believed them.

"Phew!" Sirius wiped his brow. "All the pressure!" Sirius mocked. The rest of them burst out laughing. Sirius joined in, all grins – except for that small spark of grief that was planted in his eyes. It was worrying Harry a bit, but not _too _much. However, despite the fact that he was slightly worried, he still hadn't addressed Sirius about it, and he didn't plan on doing it any time soon. For now, all he wanted to do was catch up on lost time with the people he cared about most in the world.


	3. Chapter 3

HEY GUYS!! Again, sorry for the delay in updating. I'm really really sorry! My cousins had come, so I didn't really have time to update, but........ NOW I AM BACK!!! LOL xD I'm watching the Emperor's New School so now I'm hyper xD KRONK IS SO HOT! *Ahem* I mean........................ LOL anyways, thank you all SOOOOOOOOO much for all of your AMAZING and KIND and BEAUTIFUL and THOUGHTFUL and - You get the idea :) XD Anyways, so I just wanted to say thank you... so.... thank you :) Anyways, without further ado.... THE CHAPTER!! Ohh and btw - :$ sorry 1 more thing - sorry, this chapter isn't THAT great. I promise that the next one will be better. Anyways, sorry once again for the bad chapter and the delay in updating. Anyways, now, without anymore further ado, THE CHAPTER!!! LOL xD ENJOY!! :D

**Chapter 3**

Harry looked out his dorm window to see the sun rising. He raised his eyebrows, surprised.

"What is it, Harry?" Lily asked him, curious.

"The sun's rising!" Harry exclaimed, casually.

"WHAT?" Lily yelled. Harry jumped.

"Yeah…," he said, slowly.

"Oh my god!" Lily said, sounding nervous, anxious, and angry.

"What is it?" James, Harry, and Sirius all asked at the same time. James and Sirius grinned at each other, then at Harry.

"Great minds think alike, son," James said, grinning. Lily whacked the back of his head again. _She seems to be really fond of doing that, doesn't she?_ Harry thought to himself, amused.

"The first thing you teach him after 14 years is how to be cocky?!" she exclaimed, thoroughly irritated with his immatureness. James just kept on grinning.

"Of course! I mean, you have to admit, the cockiness is usually what gets the ladies." He waggled his eyebrows at Lily suggestively, before ducking another one of her head-whacks. All three men were laughing. Lily looked from James to Sirius, a look of disgust on her face, but her eyes were twinkling all the same.

"You still didn't answer our question, Lily Flower!" Sirius said, pretending to sound hurt. Harry and James burst out laughing and, eventually, so did Lily. Sirius just stood there, grinning. Lily sighed and looked at Harry, longingly. James understood why she was looking at Harry like that and he did the same. Sirius just had a sad look in his eyes. Harry looked at his family, questioningly. Lily answered his unasked question.

"This is how your Father and I had always imagined our lives would be. We had never _ever_ imagined that our lives would end up like _this_!" James and Sirius nodded sadly beside her. Lily's eyes filled with tears again as she realized how much her son had lost out on because of her and James' mistake.

Lily was about to say something else, when her eyes flashed and she remembered why she had freaked out so much earlier.

"You're going to be late!" she shrieked. The other 3 jumped.

"What...?" Harry asked his mother, downright confused.

"You are going to be late for your lessons if you don't hurry up! _And_ you still have to eat breakfast!" Harry just looked at his mother, blankly. Then realization dawned on his face.

"I have classes today!" Harry realized, disappointed. James wondered why his son felt that way.

"So, what's so bad about classes?" James asked him, curious, although, he secretly wanted his son to miss his classes as well, so that they could have more time to catch up on lost time. However, he knew he had to act responsible, so he pretended like he actually _wanted_ his son to go to class, but he was really grumbling to his heart's content, internally.

Harry was just looking at his father like he was crazy. As a matter a fact, so was Sirius. "What?" James asked them, confused, but he received no reply from either of them. Lily was just watching the scene in front of her eyes, with an amused expression on her face.

"What?!" James asked again, somewhat exasperatedly this time. Sirius' eyes were wide.

"Mate… have the clouds gotten to your head?" Sirius asked James in a hollow voice, almost worriedly. James just raised an eyebrow at his best friend.

"No, Sirius, the clouds have _not_ "gotten to my head"," James told his friend in an irritated tone. "Why are you even _asking_, Sirius?"

"Because… it…." Sirius struggled for the right words for a few minutes. Finally he just gave up. "Mate… it sounded like you actually _wanted_ Harry to attend his classes!" Sirius exclaimed in a tortured voice. James burst out laughing, whilst Lily's eyes just narrowed.

Harry chuckled. He had the best family in the _World_. Harry faintly registered that his mother was screaming at his father and godfather. He decided to tune back in to see what it was about, although he was pretty sure why, and, when he _did_ tune back in, he wasn't disappointed.

"I don't want my son influenced by your "Marauderly Ways", okay?!?!? I don't want him turning out to be like you 4 when you were all in school!" Lily stopped short in her ranting, for she had realized that both Sirius and James' faces had gone dark. A sad and apologetic expression flooded Lily's beautiful, normally peaceful and happy, face. Lily looked down at her feet while James and Sirius just stared into nothingness, their expressions murderous.

Lily opened her mouth to say something, but James held his hand up before she could even speak. His expression softened right away as soon as his eyes fell upon his wife.

"It's ok, Lily. You don't have to keep apologizing every time you bring the topic of Pettigrew up," he explained to her, sensibly. "The emotions that surface when the topic of him is brought up are constantly inside of Sirius and myself, and I know this applies to you too, and we are always thinking about them. Just because it doesn't show on our faces, doesn't mean that we aren't being tortured every second of the day, just _thinking_ about how stupid we were, and how it's _our_ fault that Harry – " James' voice caught and he looked away. Harry realized that he had tears in his own eyes as well.

"Dad, it isn't your fault at _all_! It's _none_ of your faults! If anything, it's _my_ fault that all of this has happened." They all looked at Harry like he had gone mad. "If I hadn't been such a goody-goody and come on-time, none of this would have happened. I should have kept my sorry arse inside your tummy till August! Honestly, what's _wrong_ with me?!" Harry mocked distress. James, Sirius, and Lily laughed, but none of their laughter reached their eyes. Harry sighed. "Come on, people! Look at the bright side of this!" Harry got 3 full-fledged glares again; he tried ignoring them. "You heard Dumbledore! If it hadn't been me, it would have been someone else, guaranteed! And that someone else would have been none other than Neville Longbottom, whose parents' condition is worse than even Death itself. How would he have coped? I mean, not saying that… you know… he's… dumb… or anything…. But don't you think it would have been just horrendous? Because, fist of all, he has to deal with his parents' condition, and second of all, had _he_ been the chosen one, he would have had to deal with that pressure, and the stress of protecting his Grandmother and parents, which he wouldn't have been able to do at Hogwarts, so his mind would have been un-eased constantly, and so – "

"Okay, okay! We get it… jeez. Don't have to recite the whole History of Magic book! Honestly, Prongs, what kind of Progslet _is_ he???" Sirius grumbled, aggravated. Harry laughed, but James looked at Harry thoughtfully.

"You know, Sirius, I think he's more like Lily than me, really." James was still looking at Harry with that thoughtful expression. "I mean, looks wise he is _so_ me… but… when it comes to the nature of him, and his personality, he's more like Lily." James just kept on looking at Harry with the same expression on his face.

Lily, Sirius, and Harry were all looking at James, curious. James shook his head, getting out of his reverie. He looked at his wife and saw tears in her eyes. He grinned at her and said,

"why's everyone getting so sentimental??" At that, everyone burst out laughing and Lily whacked the back of his head.


	4. Chapter 4

OMG so sorry about the delay - i wanted to finish chapter 5 before i update, which i have :D anwyays, ohh this is the disclaimer that i should have written like, 3 chapters ago xD sorry for the delay again! and thanks for all the kind reviews :) oh, and btw, someone said that im making james, lily, and siris too childish, and, had they been, like, 40, i would agree, but i just wanted to clear up any misconceptions by saying that james, lily, and sirius are acting like this because they are 20. james and lily died when they were 20, and somehow, when sirius died, he became 20 too. also, in general his character is childish. oh and as for them being so silly all the time, if they acted sirius and stuff they would go crazy from anticiaption because of the war and how harry is dealing with everything. just wanted to clear that up, but thanks for bringing it to my attention :) sorry for any miss-comunicatoin about that on my part. anyways, on with the chapter!

Disclaimer: I do **NOT** own the Harry Potter series, nor do I own Iris Hewson.

**Chapter 4**

Harry continued talking with his parents and his godfather for a while more, before Sirius stated that he had to get back home.

"Oh, come on Padfoot! _Stay_!" James whined. Harry laughed.

"Can't – I don't think I'll be allowed to skip _two_ days of house cleaning in a row," Sirius muttered, aggravated. Harry was confused – _why does Sirius have to do it if he doesn't want to? Why doesn't he just do it tomorrow?_ Harry voiced his thoughts aloud. Sirius looked at him like he was acting retarded, before understanding flooded his face. He began laughing, and soon James and Lily joined him as well. Harry just lifted his eyebrow and stared at the 3 of them, irritated. Once they had all caught their breath, Sirius began explaining to Harry.

"Sorry mate, it's just that" – Sirius chuckled – "our story is so famous – almost _everyone_ knows about it, and, it's just, you're the _first_ person who has ever had to have me explain to them about _her_." Sirius had said the word her with such reverence, that Harry knew suddenly that something was up.

"She… she… she died, didn't she?" Harry asked, softly. All 3 of the adults nodded sadly, and all 3 of them had tears in their eyes.

"It all started when," Sirius began, but then he stopped himself. "You know what; I think you should just meet her. I'll just bring her. I'll be back in half-an-hour." Sirius made to leave, but then Harry stopped him.

"SIRIUS! WAIT!" Harry saw Sirius' face appear in the mirror again. "Why… why don't I just go _with_ you?" Harry asked him, for he still wanted to question Sirius in private, and this was the _perfect_ opportunity, and he wasn't about to let it slip through his hands. Lily and James looked at each other, surprised. From all that they had gathered about their son from watching him from the Heavens, they were _sure_ that he wouldn't even have wanted to stop talking to him for a _second_. _Looks like we were wrong_, James thought to himself, rather sadly. _He's sick of us already_. He knew Lily was feeling the same way, because her hand was in his, and it was trembling with suppressed emotion. Harry had seemed to notice his parents' reaction, and so had Sirius.

"Umm… maybe you should just stay with your parents, Harry…. You know, catch up and stuff?" Sirius suggested, his voice hopeful. Harry knew he was just doing it because of James and Lily's reaction. So, that's why when Harry gave his reply to Sirius, he looked strait into his mother's eyes and spoke.

"Um… I want to see how Sirius will get to his house, and the way there, so when I end up there as well, I'll know my way around…?" Harry said, pleadingly. His mother had understood right away. Suddenly her hand had stopped trembling and her face had broken into a completely true smile.

"Go ahead, Harry! We'll just wait for you and Sirius to return with Iris." Lily gave Harry a sympathetic and knowing smile, informing Harry that she had understood his gesture to be noble, not mean, least of all to his parents! Harry returned her smile with a heart-melting one of his own (he had James' exact heart-melting smile, the one that had gotten her in the end, along with his other amazing good looks, Quidditch talent, his brains, and his improved personality, Lily noted). James grinned at his son as well, because he had understood Lily and Harry's small wordless exchange, and had understood Harry's actions to be harmless and quite smart and selfless. _Talk about spur of the moment decisions_, James thought with amusement. James nodded at Harry in encouragement. Harry transferred his grin to James now, a thank-you embedded in his green, almond-shape irises – those same irises that had gotten James to fall for the beautiful woman that was currently on his right, and whose hand grasping his own.

"Alright then! If everyone's okay with it, then let's go!" Sirius exclaimed, impatiently. The other 3 laughed. Sirius picked up the mirror and held it out in-front of him, looking deeply into his godson's face. Sirius had only walked a few steps when Harry heard Lily yell, "Sirius, when you get there, don't tell him _anything_ – and don't let Iris either! Come back here and tell the story! I'm warning you, Sirius Black! Don't you dare even _think_ about telling him without us!" Lily warned him, Harry predicting a lot of pain for his godfather if his godfather failed to follow Lily's instructions.

"Whatever," Sirius called back. Harry heard a loud crash and Sirius yell.

"OW!!!" he yelled.

"I have many more from where _that _came from!" Harry heard Lily warn Sirius.

"Trust me mate, you do _not_ want to underestimate what she means by 'many more'," James said, sensibly. Sirius scoffed, and a second later, Harry heard another crash and Sirius yelled again.

"Okay, okay! I get it! I won't tell him anything, _okay_?" Sirius yelled, infuriated. Harry heard James roaring with laughter and heard his mother say, "okay," with an innocent smile in her voice. Harry smiled at his mother's antics – at _all_ his previous guardians' antics; they were quite a bunch. Harry chuckled softly.

"What are _you_ laughing at?" Sirius grumbled, staring daggers at him. That's when Sirius tripped over a rock, flipped, and landed on his back because he hadn't been looking at where he had been walking. At this point, Harry's chuckles had turned into full blown douses of laughter. After a few minutes, Sirius couldn't control himself any longer, and burst into laughter as well.

There, on the porch stairs leading up to Harry's parents' house, sat godfather and godson, in fits of laughter.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys! okay so today i decided to be kind and update TWO times in ONE day! :D THATS a first xD anyways, i wanna dedicate this chpater to XSiriusIsTheBestX because, well, she OWNS! XD and she owns Iris Hewson. ohh, and, well, im basing the Iris Hewson in this story on the one she created in her stories. i highly suggested and recommend her stories, because the are AMAZING. and so, this chapter is dedicated to her in thanks for letting me use her character, and also because she is one of my favourite authors on this website :D anyways, enjoy this chapter! :D

OHH AND... I expect 5 reviews before i update next. come ON guys, FIVE REVIEWS??? thats easy peasy lemon squeezy :D anywyas, please R&R :D ENJOY!!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Iris Hewson or the Harry Potter series, or any of it's characters.

**Chapter 5**

Once Harry and Sirius had stopped laughing, they began their journey to Sirius' house.

***

Once Harry and Sirius had stopped laughing and had actually _begun_ their journey to Sirius' house, Lily and James looked at each other, hands clasped. James then pulled her into a tight embrace. Lily could tell that he was crying because he was shaking.

"Shh… shh… it's okay... shh…." She rubbed slow, soothing circles onto his back to calm him down. "Shh… come on… tell me what's wrong." Lily pulled her head back from her resting place on his chest to look him in the eyes. His eyes were red and there were tears running freely down his face. He smiled apologetically at her for breaking down. She just smiled at him in understanding. She wiped away his tears and pulled him down by the shirt so she could gently press her lips to his. When they broke apart, he smiled at her.

"Thanks, I think I needed that." She just smiled in response. Lily just stared into James' eyes for a few moments before asking him the million dollar question, "what's wrong, James?" James just shook his head.

"Not important – I was just being stupid." Lily scoffed at him.

"James, I've _never_ seen you cry for _no _reason – there's _always_ a reason." James just looked back at her with a sheepish expression on his face. James sighed in admittance.

"Okay, look, I was "getting emotional" because… I dunno… it's just… I think it was just the fact that we got to see Harry again. I didn't think we'd be able to see him for years. And, well, I finally get to talk to him in a _normal_ – well – _somewhat_ normal situation, and I guess that just… got to me." Lily nodded in understanding. She smiled.

"I know what you mean." James smiled at her in response. They stood like that for another minute before James took Lily's hand and dragged her back to the living room, sat on the couch, and pulled her onto his lap so her head was nestled in his neck, comfortably.

"No sense in standing around for another 20 minutes," James replied to Lily's questioning gaze. She burst out laughing. James chuckled in response. As James' chuckles died down, he just stared into his love's face, peacefully. Lily looked up and her eyes caught his. She cocked her head to the side in question. James just smiled serenely at her and said, quietly, "I still don't understand how I managed to get you – I'm not even worth _half_ of you…." Lily just cupped his face with her right hand and stroked his cheek.

"That's because you're worth much _more_ than that," Lily said softly, pulling James down towards her so that she could press her lips to his. James tried to pull away from her to try and say something else, but she didn't let him. Eventually he gave up and they just sat like that, appreciating each other's presence.

***

Sirius and Harry stayed in silence for awhile, while Sirius walked, until Harry broke the silence. Harry refused to beat around the bush; he got straight to the point.

"Sirius – what's wrong?" Harry asked him, abruptly. Sirius had faced the mirror away from him so that Harry could see the scenery, and also so that Harry wouldn't be able to see the sadness and pain on Sirius' face. He looked at the mirror, startled.

"What…?" he asked, hoping that he had heard wrong. _How had Harry seen through my façade?" _he wondered.

"You heard me – what's wrong? I know something's wrong Sirius, so don't try and hide it from me." Sirius had begun shaking his head, but had stopped as soon as he had heard the second part of Harry's statement. Sirius sighed.

"I… I – " Sirius sighed again. "I… I'm sorry!" he suddenly exclaimed. Harry looked at him strangely.

"What?" he asked him, confused.

"You heard me – I'm sorry. I... I left you! When you _needed_ me! And no _responsible_, _kind_, or _caring_ guardian does that, Harry! I'm a horrible guardian, and James and Lily should _never_ have made me your guardian!" Sirius bit his lip, still troubled. Harry just looked at him with wide eyes.

"What…?" he asked again. Sirius had opened his mouth and was about to reply when he closed his mouth and glared at Harry.

"I ain't repeating _that_ again, if that's what you want!" Sirius looked at him indignantly. Harry burst out laughing.

"So… who are we going to meet, Sirius?" Harry asked innocently, already knowing the answer. Sirius just shook his head, a small smirk on his face.

"I ain't telling if _that's_ what you mean." Sirius grinned, knowing that he was tormenting Harry. Harry just grumbled an incoherent string of words under his breath. Sirius just laughed.

"Well, we're almost here, anyways, so you might wanna put your best-first-impression-Potter-smile on." Harry just glared at Sirius. Then he thought to himself, _by the sound of it, I'm about to meet someone _very_ important to my parents and Sirius, because _Sirius_ of all people wants me to make a good first impression… so they _must _be important, especially to him, cause Mom and Dad didn't say _anything_ about a good first impression… although, good first impressions are always a good thing._ Harry smiled to himself as Sirius walked up to a _huge_ red-bricked mansion. Harry just stared, his mouth gaping open. Sirius saw Harry's reaction and chuckled to himself.

"This is _your_ house?" Harry asked, incredulously. Sirius just nodded, grinning.

He walked up the steps leading to his porch and opened the door. He walked in the main hallway and kept walking down it. Harry's mouth stayed open as he surveyed the pictures on the wall. There were pictures of his Parents, sometimes by themselves, sometimes accompanied by Sirius and some other beautiful woman, who Harry assumed to be Iris.

"Sirius, is that Iris?" Harry asked, pointing to a picture on the wall, where Sirius and James were in the middle, and Sirius' right arm was draped around the said female's shoulders, and James' left arm was draped around Lily's shoulders. Sirius just chuckled and said, without looking, you'll see. Harry crossed arms and began grumbling again.

When Harry saw that the hallway was coming to an end, he kept staring into the mirror in anticipation, but what he saw was somewhat disappointing and yet astounding and amazing at the same time. Harry was faced with an octagonal shaped room with a fireplace on the side of the octagon facing right across from them, and a _gigantic_ picture of his Parents with Sirius and the woman who, Harry supposed, was Iris. This time, Lily and "Iris" were in the middle facing each other and hugging, while James was hugging Lily's back and Sirius was hugging "Iris'" back. All four of them were laughing, their eyes twinkling – _but_ you could se a whole past of grief behind those twinkling eyes. Harry tried to keep his eyes away from Iris because he didn't want to set standards by the picture, because he was sure that she would look even better in person, so he didn't study her in the pictures – he was waiting for the real thing. After all, Lily, James, and Sirius had all looked much better in person than in the pictures. Lily had looked at least a hundred times more gorgeous, and James had looked a hundred times more handsome, and so had Sirius. Harry had only seen _pictures_ of the young Sirius, and he had looked even _younger_ when Harry had seen them in person. _Well… through the mirror_, Harry corrected himself.

He was brought out of his thoughts when he realized a radio was playing. _Odd, they have radios there? And with perfect reception?_ After a few more lines of the song played and Sirius grinned ridiculously wide, Harry realized that it wasn't the radio playing after all – someone was singing – and Harry had a very good idea who. Harry listened harder to try and recognize the song. He had, after all, grown up with muggles, and maybe she was singing a muggle song, so maybe he could recognize it. She was indeed singing a muggle song, and it was none other than Vertigo, by U2 – Harry had heard of them. He had half a mind to sing along, when the singing stopped and a voice carried down from upstairs instead.

"Sirius? Is that you?" the voice called. The voice was almost magical – it was so beautiful – it sounded like bells and wind chimes.

"Yes, it's me. There's someone here that you might want to meet," Sirius called back up. Harry saw a figure practically dance down the stairs and land in front of Sirius. Harry's breath caught; he was right to have decided not to look at the pictures too closely, because from what he had gathered from the pictures, she was _amazing_.

She had creamy, white skin, huge chocolate coloured eyes accompanied with long, thick black lashes. Her eyes were twinkling excitedly. She had blood red lips, as well as short, cropped, black hair, with a short flick of hair resting on her forehead. She was a complete beauty.

Harry was still staring – open-mouthed – when Sirius gestured to the Beauty before him and said, "Harry Potter, meet Iris Hewson."


	6. Chapter 6

OMG IM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY!!! :'( You can punish me by not having to review :P Anyways, this chapter is dedicated to AngelAuthor14 who is AMAZING!! :) Check out her ficks :) Oh, and also, I'm really bad at protraying Iris the way that XSirisBlackIsTheBestX can, cause, obviously, SHE CREATED IT, but whatever :P I'm sorry if you all are dissapointed with the way I am portraying the characters. If you all have any suggestions, please send them to me :)

**Chapter 6**

Iris' eyes widened in shock, and then narrowed in anger.

"_What_ do you think you're playing at, Black?" Iris hissed, vehement. She began advancing on Sirius, and he was backing away slowly. Harry knew he should say something, but he wanted to keep silent for a while – this was quite amusing. Sirius' eyes had widened in fear, and he was backing up with his right had in the air and his left hand still holding the mirror, giving Harry a full view of what was going on.

"You _know_ I hate it when you play these kinds of pranks on me!" she exclaimed, her eyes narrowed in.

"N – now Iris, dear, you – you know I w – would nev – never joke about this – you know I take the whole Harry thing as seriously as you do – even though _I'm_ Sirius," Sirius added in the end, giving Iris a half-grin. Sirius' grin fell off his face when he heard Iris growl and gulped.

"See! Look what you've gotten me into, Harry! I won't be able to walk for at least a _week_ once she's finished!" Sirius moaned. He glared at Harry. Harry just smiled angelically, staying silent. Sirius huffed. "Come _on_, child! I ate _rats_ for you!" Sirius exclaimed. Harry's smile faltered and his expression turned to one of mischief to one of guilt, hurt, and pain. Sirius dropped his playful act as soon as he had realized what he had said to his Godson, and the effect that it had had on him. He took the mirror in both hands and turned it so Harry was looking right at him. "Harry, I didn't mean that – not in that way anyway. I was just messing around – something I got into a bad habit of doing with your Father." Sirius grinned. Harry just stared at his blankets, unmoving. "Look, Harry, I'm sorry. I didn't realize how much me saying that would hurt you." Harry looked up, his face filled with anger and reject.

"So? Just because you were just joking around, doesn't mean it isn't true!" Harry exclaimed. He clamped a hand over his mouth after he had realized what he had said. He could believe that he had revealed that thought that had been bugging Harry since Sirius had died: Sirius had always sacrificed _everything_ to be with Harry – everything – and he had _never_ held back. Not once. Everything was always about Harry when it came to the point – and Sirius always had a knack of risking his neck for Harry no matter what, and he always did what he could to help his little Godson out – even if he had to suffer in the process – which he had, a lot – and that's what had been bugging Harry. The guilt over the fact that while his Godfather had suffered _so much_, he had had to suffer even _more_ because of Harry.

Sirius' eyes were wide with shock.  
"Harry," he moaned. "Don't you get it? Those weren't the hard parts – the eating rats thing? Doesn't matter! Harry – in Azkaban I didn't even _get_ food! Trust me, having rats is better than having nothing at all – and it's also better than having my soul sucked out of me," he added. "And it's only because of _you_! If you hadn't believed me and let me escape, I would probably still be stuck inside of Azkaban, _starving_ to death, or, be rotten inside out because of the Kiss. So, thank you," Sirius said, in a soft voice, "and trust me Harry, when it comes to the whole

"Sirius-was-suffering-while-I-sat-frolicking-in-a-Castle" isn't true. It wasn't the whole on the run thing that was making me suffer – it was seeing you in pain," Sirius admitted in a thoughtful voice.

The whole time that the 2 boys had been talking, Iris had been staring at the both of them, her eyes wide. _Not even _Sirius_ can imitate Harry's voice and emotions through a charm… which must mean…._ Realization dawned on Iris' face and it filled with tears.

"Oh, _Harry_!" She exclaimed. Her sudden words frightened both Sirius and Harry so they both jumped in surprise. Sirius glared at Iris and she just rolled her eyes in response and muttered,"baby." Harry had heard and seen this interaction and had chuckled at Iris' nonchalance. At that moment both of the adults seemed to remember Harry for Iris and Sirius had both looked to the mirror, but before Sirius could realize what was happening, Iris had grabbed the mirror from Sirius' hand and had begun cooing into it. Harry couldn't stop staring at her, she was so _gorgeous_. Sirius had looked over Iris' shoulder to see Harry's reaction and had seen his expression. He had chuckled slightly and had looked to the beauty in front of him.

"Yeah," he chuckled to Harry, "she does that to a person." Harry blushed and finally managed to look away from the mirror. Iris looked from Sirius' loving expression to Harry's embarrassed one, had laughed, and had whacked Sirius on the back of his head. Harry stared open-mouthed. _Does _everyone_ whack people on the back of males' heads in Heaven? Or is that just a thing from my Parents' generation?_ Harry asked himself, his eyebrow raised. Sirius noticed Harry's expression and laughed.

"No, it's only a thing that _our_ women do," Sirius chuckled, his gaze lingering on his Angel's beautiful, capturing, eyes. Harry felt like he was intruding on something private so he overturned the mirror as to not disturb them. After about 30 seconds of just sitting on his bed, he heard a yell and had to grin.

"OI! PRONGSLET!! Jeez, we lock eyes for _one minute_ and he runs off on us. _Now_ what's Lily going to say?" Sirius groaned. "Ohh… she's going to _kill_ me!" PRONGSLET!!!" Sirius yelled again, this time more desperate than angry.

While Sirius had been ranting, Harry had had to put a pillow over his face to muffle his laughter so Sirius wouldn't hear him. Harry upturned the mirror, deciding that his loyal Godfather had suffered enough. When Sirius saw Harry's face fill up the mirror, he had smiled in relief, but then his expression had turned dark when he had seen Harry laughing. At the sight, Iris began laughing as well and Sirius just stood there, annoyed.

"Are we just gonna stand here all night or go somewhere as well? You know, I had promised Lily to have her _darling, innocent boy_ back in half an hour so she could tell the story." Harry and Iris just laughed harder, Harry's full of happiness for the first time in a while, and Iris' like a joyous four-year-old's. Sirius tried to stay serious and stocky for another minute, but he couldn't handle it and ended up in laughter along-side his beautiful God-sent Angel. Another few minutes passed, the memory of this laughter being etched into their brains for the rest of Eternity.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Sirius, _hurry up_!" Iris yelled. Sirius grinned sheepishly and ran to catch up with his Angel and his Godson. Sirius held out his hands and showed them what he had been doing: he had been picking the lily pads from the pond nearby.

"To pacify your dear Mother with, Prongslet," Sirius grinned at his intelligence. Harry grinned.

"Good idea – she's gonna be pretty ticked that we're so late," Iris said, glaring at Sirius as she said that, although her eyes were sparkling with a certain joy that Harry couldn't explain. Sirius seemed to sense Harry's confusion, so he looked at Harry and winked at him when Iris wasn't looking. Harry chuckled quietly. Sirius looked from Harry to Iris instead, and what Harry saw there was astounding – he saw… love… compassion… reverence… appreciation… concern… and other emotions he couldn't name, in Sirius' eyes when he was looking at Iris. Harry looked between them both, shocked. _Sirius is in love with her!_ He thought to himself, triumphant. _But I think I'm gonna let them have some fun with this._

He kept his facial expression neutral so that no one else would notice his excitement. After another 6 minutes or so of walking, they finally reached Harry's Parents' house. Iris rang the doorbell and it was none other than Lily who opened the door.

"Iris!" Lily squealed.

"Lily!" Iris squealed. They enveloped each other in an enormous hug. When they broke apart, Lily turned to Sirius and said in a very frightening, threatening voice, "you didn't tell him – did you?" Iris and James (who had come up behind Sirius and Iris) began sniggering uncontrollably. Sirius turned to glare at them. He turned back to Lily and said, indignation evident in his voice, "no I _didn't_, Lily Flower." His face then brightened. "Which reminds me! Here you go, my lady." He grinned his most charming grin at her while handing over the flowers, but it fell off of his face when he saw that she was still glaring at him. Fear filled his eyes and he said urgently, "I _swear_, it wasn't me that delayed you from seeing your son – it was your _annoying_ best friend and my mischievous god-son." He had grumbled the last part, which had set Iris and Harry off laughing again, and this time James joined in. Sirius glared at everyone until he turned back to Lily and fear replaced it again. Finally, after another minute of Lily's hard glare, she couldn't hold her composure any longer and burst out laughing herself. "Great!" Sirius muttered.

"Just great! At first I made everyone else laugh by making _others_ the laughing stock – now _I'm _the laughing stock." Everyone just laughed harder and his grumbles but then he grinned and ended up joining in as well.

After a few minutes, it had probably gotten chilly, because Lily had suggested they all come inside and begin feasting on the dinner she had cooked. Sirius was entering her house, however, when Lily whacked the back of his head as he passed her. Sirius yelled in pain and glowered at her. Lily just smiled angelically.

"_That_ was for calling my best friend annoying." Sirius continued to glower at her, when Iris walked up behind him and whacked him on the back of the head as well. Sirius yelled again, only this time even louder.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" he shouted. James was howling with laughter by now, and so was Harry. Iris imitated Lily's angelic expression as she replied him.

"That was for calling me annoying as well – and this is for calling my god-son mischievous!" Iris leaned forward quickly and whacked him again. Sirius closed his eyes and he rubbed the back of his head, groaning. During all of this, Iris had handed the mirror to James so that Iris' hands would be free and so that Harry would be able to see everything. "My brain cells!" Sirius groaned. James sniggered.

"What brain cells, Padfoot?" Sirius just growled and turned around, aiming a punch at his best friend. Using his amazing Seeker reflexes, James ducked. Lily, Iris, and Harry continued laughing. Sirius just grumbled and said, "I'm hungry! And I can't aim properly when I'm hungry!" He crossed his arms defiantly. James and Harry were roaring with laughter while Lily and Iris stood chuckling, looking at their men in affection.

When Sirius saw that no one was moving, he huffed and walked into the house himself, and the rest of the gang followed in his midst, still laughing.

* * *

OMG IM SO SORRYYY for the delay in updating! School just started so I'm kinda busy at the moment XD anyways, um, i was THINKING about making this story a daily page, but im not completely sure yet. Could u guys please msg me some suggestions? And i would like to thanks XSiriusIsTheBestX for recommending this story, and for all the poeple who have actually bothered checking it out, and for all the wonderful reviews :) Sorry i havent personally replied to them yet, but i promise i will as soon as i get the chance :) anywyas, PLEASE REVIEW :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Harry watched as the 4 of them set the table for dinner. They finally all sat down to eat, but before any of them could touch their food, Lily suggested that they say a Prayer, and that Harry should do it. Harry was taken aback.

"You want me to do… what?" he asked her, his mouth gaping open. James chuckled.

"We want _you_ to say the meal Prayer for today." James smiled encouragingly at him, and when Harry glanced at Iris and Sirius, they both nodded reassuringly at him. Harry took a deep breath.

"I – I've never – never actually _said_ a Prayer before," he admitted in a quiet voice. He heard Sirius gasp in astonishment. He braced himself for the lecture he was about to receive.

"You've _never_ said a Prayer before?" Harry looked up to see raw fury etched into every part of Sirius' face and fury burning in his eyes. Harry flushed.

"Um… yeah… I – it's not like I meant to – or anything… I was just…." But before Harry could continue, Sirius' fury finally got the better of him.

"THOSE STUPID GOOD FOR NOTHING MUGGLES DIDN'T TEACH YOU HOW TO _PRAY_???" Sirius yelled, breathing hard. In his fury he had jumped up from his chair beside Iris. Harry just looked at him taken aback. Sirius wasn't mad at him?

"You're not mad at me?" Harry asked, point-blank. This time Iris looked taken aback.

"Why would any of us be mad at you Harry? Especially for something that was _not your fault_," she enunciated. Harry just shrugged. Harry then looked at his mother, for he supposed that she probably cared a great deal about her sister still. True enough, Harry saw that her expression was slightly hurt, but you would have to look closely to notice it. _That's where I get my ability to hide my emotions_, Harry realized. Only Lily's eyes showed the full amount of her pain, and you had to have had a lot of practice to be able to read _those_ eyes – _that are just like mine_, Harry thought proudly. Then he realized that he should say something – defend the Dursley's. Harry cleared his throat.

"It's not their fault either," Harry said, shrugging. Everyone looked at him in astonishment, including Lily.

"Harry!" she gasped. "I mean, I always knew that you were kind-hearted and easily forgiving, but _come on_! Don't you think that backing them up is a little unreasonable, maybe?" she asked him, raising her eyebrow. Harry looked thoughtfully at her.

"Well, I mean, I _could_ always put the blame on them and say that they should have taught me, but that's not completely true. I should have picked it up from the other kids and should have done it anyways." Harry bowed his head. "I'm sorry guys, I should have paid more attention to the traditions around me." Harry saw Lily get up from the table and pick up the mirror from the bowl they had propped it against at the end of the table.

"Harry, trust me, it's not your fault," she said to him, softly. She smiled. "I know why you're saying that – and trust me, I appreciate it." She smiled at him. Harry's eyes widened in astonishment.

"How did you…" he broke off, unsure of what to say or how to voice his question. Lily just smiled.

"You're not the only one who has the ability to read the Evans' eyes." Her eyes were sparkling with happiness as she said this, and there was a heart-warming smile on her face.

* * *

HEY GUYS! I UPDATED!! CONGRATULATE ME!! XD Anyways, I MIGHT BE STARTING ANOTHER STORY!! DON'T THROW TOMATOES AT ME!! LOL I'm hyper. XD ANYWAYS.... I'm still wondering if I should... I'm working on it at the moment, along with my 2 uncomplete fanfics... .... but u know... XD anyways............ BTW THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVELY REVIEWS!!!! :DDD


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"I _swear_ Prongs, your family is just _way_ too sentimental for their own good," Sirius joked. Since Sirius was turned towards James, he hadn't noticed the whack that was coming his way.

"OWWW!!!" he yelled when Iris' hand contacted his head. Sirius rubbed his head, groaning. "What happened to the whole Heaven's-supposed-to-be-a-great-place thing???" Sirius asked, defiantly. James cocked his head at him and Iris just raised her eyebrow. "If Heaven was _truly_ a great place, then our wives' whacks wouldn't even make us flinch!" Sirius opened his mouth to say something more when suddenly the horrifying truth of what he had said dawned on him. His mouth formed into a big 'O' shape and his eyes widened. James smacked his forehead in irritation and Iris just rolled his eyes at how idiotic her husband was.

Harry saw Lily's mouth tighten and her nostrils flare, but then he noticed that her eyes were dancing. She started to stalk towards him, but before she could even reach him, his horror-struck expression had her doubled over in laughter. As soon as Sirius saw her laughing his eyes had narrowed.

"Women!" he muttered, throwing his hands in the air. He looked to James and said, "Remind me again why we gave up our glorious bachelor-like ways to get _married_?" He pretended to be disgusted at the word. Harry couldn't keep the grin off of his face; he had been correct; they _were_ in love. He smirked at the thought.

"OI! What _you_ laughing at, Prongslet?" Sirius asked, indignantly. Harry's smirk got more pronounced.

"At the fact that I was correct." Harry laughed at the look of astonishment on his parents' and godparents' faces. "What?" he asked them, laughing.

"You – you knew?" James asked, astounded at the intelligence of his son. _That's Lily's brains, that is,_ James thought, proudly.

"That Sirius' in love with Iris you mean? Yeah," he replied them. The 4 of them were astounded at Harry's perception. Harry grinned. "What? You didn't think that I'd be stupid, _despite_ being Lily and James Potter's son, did you?" Harry asked, fake astonishment in his voice. James and Sirius ruffled their hair nervously, while Lily and Iris just looked at him fondly.

"That's Marauder cheekiness, that is," Iris commented, grinning. Sirius and James nodded their heads enthusiastically while Lily just rolled her eyes.

"Don't you be following in their footsteps, Harry!" Lily warned him. A mischievous look came into Harry's eyes.

"Can't make any promises, Mum," Harry replied, cheekily. James and Sirius high-fived while Lily glared at her son. Iris just watched on with an entertained expression on her face.

"_Anyways_," Iris interrupted them, "weren't we supposed to be telling him our story," she accused the boys. They grinned sheepishly.

"Sorry, Ire," James apologized. "We just got caught up with the fact that my son is _AWESOME_!" James yelled, punching the air. Sirius punched him on the shoulder.

"OI! He's _my_ godson!" Sirius argued. Harry watched with emotion as Lily and Iris stood up from their spots on the tables inconspicuously, went over to the boys, and whacked them on the back of their heads. They both yelled in unison and rubbed their heads in exactly the same way.

"He's our son, too!" Lily and Iris laughed, Iris' four-year-old one and Lily's melodic one filling up the house. There was no doubting the fact that Harry had the best family in the _World_.

* * *

HEYY GUYS! XD

anyways, sorry, I know it seems like all the chapters are slowly getting shorter and shorter xD but I'm trying to update faster, like I've updated THREE DAYS IN A ROW xD congratulate me XD anyways, so yeah, thanks for all the lovely reviews :) and u know how I told u all about the new story, do u think I should make it or not?

PLEASE REVIEW!! (come on, one review won't kill you) :P xD


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** I don't own When the Stars Go Blue, nor do I own Iris or the Harry Potter Series.

**A/N: **This story is based on When the Stars Go Blue, so if you are wondering what the exact story is, you have to read When the Stars Go Blue by XSiriusIsTheBestX and all her other stories too since I have no patience to type out an already written over-100-chapter story, so too bad. xD No offence. xD Besides – it's copyright. (Well, in my head it is anyway, as I prefer XSiriusIsTheBestX's AU ending to her newest story.) XD

**Chapter 10**

"… so, that's our story," James concluded. Harry found he had tears in his eyes and hastily rubbed his eyes so that the salt water wouldn't escape them. Harry noticed that the rest of them had tears in their eyes as well. They had rearranged themselves around the table so that Iris and Sirius were sitting beside each other and James and Lily were sitting beside each other. Both men had one arm around their wife, and the other hand was wiping tears from their eyes and caressing their wife's face.

Harry had only realized how much time had passed when his stomach suddenly rumbled. He put one hand on it, surprised. He had just realized that he hadn't eaten for the whole day, and that Ron and Hermione hadn't even checked on him. _They must think that I'm bunking because of what happened at the Ministry_, Harry mused.

"Hey, guys?" Harry asked, hesitant. They looked up, surprised at the hesitance in their son's voice.

"Yeah?" James answered back casually, a kind smile on his face.

"Umm…" Harry hesitated, "would – would you guys mind if – if I – if I – umm – go and get something to eat?" he finished lamely. Sirius and James burst out laughing.

"Harry, why the hell would we mind?" Sirius asked him, a grin still present on his face, enhancing his handsome features. Harry shrugged.

"I dunno, I just feel guilty, I guess." Sirius raised an eyebrow at him and Harry blushed. "It's just – I don't want you guys to think that I'm getting tired of talking, or anything like that, cause it's not like that at _all_! It's just that I'm hungry," the teen admitted. Lily smiled knowingly at him.

"Don't worry, Harry! We know how you feel – you shouldn't be so paranoid and feel that we're going to misinterpret your actions." Her smile stayed present on her face.

"It's just… never mind," Harry said quickly. Iris cocked her head to the right in question.

"Tell us, Harry," Iris said. Harry looked unsure.

"Please?" Lily implored. Harry sighed.

"It's just… I'm afraid that you'll misunderstand me, or get mad at me, or get tired of talking to me and so you'll stop… well… speaking to me…" Harry said, voicing his fears. "I – I _actually_ have a family for the first time in my life, and I don't want to lose it," Harry said softly. Lily could see the hurt and neglect present in his eyes. _Oh, Petunia! What have you _done_ to him?_ Lily wondered, infuriated. Her eyes were flashing, and James had seemed to realize what was happening then, because he got up and stood behind Lily, putting his arm around her. Harry saw her take a few deep breaths in, and slowly he saw the anger fade. Once James saw that his wife was calm, he decided it was his turn to speak.

"Harry – first of all – we'd never just leave you like that – and I know what you're thinking! _How can he say that when he and mum left me when I was one to watch out for myself and fend for myself in the World?_ But you and I _both_ know that had we had a choice, we would have _never_ left you! Not for _anything_, Harry! Believe me…" James whispered, practically begging his son. Sirius looked from James to Harry and decided that maybe Harry needed a push from him as well.

"Harry," Sirius began, "you yourself know that what you're thinking isn't true! You know that had we _truly_ felt that way, I would never have moved to Hogsmade just so I could speak with you more conveniently." Harry bowed his head.

"I know," he said in defeat.

"Harry." Harry looked up at the sound of the bells and wind chimes that was Iris speaking. "I have been up here longer than any of your other guardians, and trust me – you will never be able to find guardians as dedicated as Lily, James, and Sirius are. And Remus too, now that you think about it," she added, a thoughtful look on her face. Harry sighed again.

"Harry, we love you," Lily whispered. Harry smiled; that was all the reassurance he needed.

"I'm sorry for upsetting you guys – I really didn't mean to. And I appreciate the love and care that you all have for me – and – also – I'm so sorry about how you all had to suffer to protect me." At this, Harry's voice almost got stuck in his throat, but he knew he had to continue. Iris and James had opened their mouths to say something, but Harry put his hand up to stop them. "I know it seems like sometimes I don't care about my family, and that I'm taking advantage of the care and love that you all gave me, but I'm not trying to," Harry said earnestly. He turned to his mother. "I'm not trying to test the protection you created for me – that you both created for me," Harry included, looking at his father, "I just get into trouble a lot. It's like it's attracted to me!" Harry suddenly exclaimed. James and Sirius looked at each other before they bust out laughing.

Harry, Lily, and Iris were all looking at the brothers with bewildered looks on their faces. James took a few deep breaths to try and speak – only to burst out laughing again as soon as he opened his mouth. He tried again. He took 4 deep breaths.

"Sorry – it's just – Sirius and I used that _exact_ same excuse on McGonagall once!" Then he burst into laughter again. Lily and Iris shared a look and Harry realized what was about to happen. His face broke into a wide grin and he turned his head so that the boys wouldn't see him grinning as he anticipated the thuds that he was about to hear. True enough – 10 seconds later he heard 2 thuds, which were accompanied by yells.


	11. Chapter 11

Hey guys! sorry this has taken so long to update - was being rude :P xD it was acting up so i couldn't upload - but now i can! xD anyways, a lot of people have been complaining about how my story isnt going anywhere - but trust me, it is. it's jus that since my chapters aren't long, it seems like i'm not getting anywhere, when really, i am. also, i'm puttting a lot of happy fluffy moments in now because i need to emphasize the fact that Harry is so extatic that he can talk to his past guardians again. the real fun starts to begin soon. tryst me - just hold on for a little longer - please :) and thanks to all who reviewed and i am so sorry i haven't had time to answer everyone - but know that i appreciate each and every one of your comments and pointers :) and another thank u to all who have stuck with me the whole time. anyways - now - ON WITH THE STORY! and sorry again for the delay :(

**Chapter 11**

Harry got out of be, stretched, and bid farewells to his previous guardians to go and eat dinner. _Ron and Hermione will probably be worried about me_, Harry mused. Harry took a quick shower and made his way to the Great Hall. As soon as he entered, he looked up to at the Teacher's Table and saw that Dumbledore had seen him. Dumbledore gave him a small smile, which Harry returned, much to Dumbledore's surprise. _He seems to be coping rather well_, Dumbledore thought to himself, happy for the child he had slowly come to love like his own.

Harry sat down across from Ron and Hermione at the Gryffindor House Table. They both looked up at him, surprised. Ron opened his mouth to say something, but Hermione elbowed him. She looked at Harry for a minute before smiling nervously.

"Hey," she said, softly. Harry realized that they had been very worried about him. He felt bad; he shouldn't have stayed in his room the whole day like that. He smiled at her.

"Hey." He grinned at them when he saw the astonished look on their faces. "What?" he asked innocently. Hermione bit her lip.

"Are you – are you feeling… um…." Hermione didn't know how to phrase what she wanted to ask without hurting Harry. Harry smirked at her.

"I'm feeling fine, thanks." Harry grinned at her astounded expression. Ron and Hermione shared a look.

"Mate, did you hit your head or something?" Harry burst out laughing.

"Guys! I'm perfectly fine!" Harry said laughing, clutching his sides. Ron and Hermione still looked bewildered, so he said, quietly, "come on, once we finish eating I'll show you why I'm okay." Hermione and Ron just looked at each other again. Harry just smiled. All throughout dinner he kept the smile on his face, making Ron and Hermione wonder what the hell was going on.

They finished dinner and silently got up from the table and made their way to the Gryffindor Tower.

"You two wait here, I'll go and double check if the dorm is empty." Harry pounded up the stairs, flung his door open, and grabbed the mirror as fast as he could. "Sirius," he whispered into the mirror. Sirius' grinning face flooded the mirror almost instantly, but before he could say anything, Harry raised a hand to stop him. "Listen, I don't have much time: would you mind if I tell Ron and Hermione about this too? Cause otherwise they'll think I've gone mental, since I was nearly internally dead, like, yesterday, and now suddenly I'm fine." Harry smirked at the recollection of their faces. Sirius looked at Harry strangely.

"Of course it's ok, Harry; It's your choice," he shrugged. Harry threw him a fleeting grin in thanks and told him to wait for a minute. Before Sirius could even reply, Harry had flung the mirror on the bed and had run out of the room again. Sirius just shook his head in bewilderment, a small smile on his face.

Harry ran back into the Common Room, grabbed his 2 best friends' hands, and ran back to his dorm, pulling them along. He entered his dorm and pulled his door closed after Ron and Hermione entered. Harry walked to his bed and picked the mirror back up to see Sirius still staring up at him from the mirror. He gave Harry a reassuring smile, telling Harry that what he was doing was the right thing. Harry took a deep breath and turned around, the mirror facing away from him so that Hermione and Ron would be able to see what was in it. They both gasped as soon as they registered what – well, in this case, who – was in the mirror.

"Sirius?!" Hermione gasped, shocked.

"Sirius?" Ron asked, bewildered.

"Sirius," Harry agreed happily, nodding.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Harry had only showed Ron and Hermione Sirius first because he didn't want to give them too much of a shock just yet. There would be plenty of time to explain properly, but Harry didn't think he would be able to just yet.

Hermione turned to look at Harry, anger glinting in her eyes.

"Weren't you listening in class in First Year? _You're not supposed to experiment with random spells that you don't know the effect of_!" Hermione hissed, infuriated. She didn't understand what he had been thinking. _Doesn't he realize how detrimental this can be to so many people? I know he misses him, but I mean come _on_!_ Hermione kept her glare on Harry, expecting an answer. Harry just looked at her with a confused expression. Ron did as well.

"What?" Harry asked when he was unable to think of a better way to phrase what he had been thinking. Suddenly it dawned on Harry what she had been talking about. He burst out laughing. "Hermione, you didn't honestly think that I'd _charmed_ the mirror did you?" Harry asked between 2 particularly extreme laughing fits. Hermione just scowled at him.

"If it's not a charm, then _what is it_?" Hermione was putting on a cold front, but really she was terrified. What if Harry had gone somewhat… strange… what with Sirius' death and all. After Harry took a few deep breaths to calm himself down, he told her all about the mirror and what he had been doing these last few hours – what they talked about, etc. "But Harry! Hermione suddenly exclaimed, "what if it's a trick of –" she gulped " – Voldemort's??" she asked fearfully. Harry then explained that he had had the same fears, but then they had proved it to him that they were actually his past guardians, not some sort of charm.

Throughout this whole time Ron had been silent. After Harry had finished explaining, Ron's face broke out into a wide grin.

"That's really great, mate, really great," he said to him, sincerely.

"I know," Harry said, grinning. Harry then looked to Hermione for her judgement. She bit her lip and waited for a moment before finally speaking.

"Ron's right – this is amazing." Harry grinned in thanks at his 2 best friends – he didn't think he would have been able to handle it if they hadn't believed him and thought him to be insane.

"Thank you guys, so much. You will _never_ know how much this means to me," he said, his voice rough with suppressed emotion, for he had suddenly realized that even though he could speak with his parents and Sirius again, it still wasn't the same as having them near him and being able to feel their presence – and now, after Sirius' death, his family was made up of 2 people in the whole World – in his whole World – his 2 best-friends – the 2 best best-friends anyone could ever ask for: Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger.

* * *

HEY GUYS! LOL i decided to treat u guys today and upload 4 chapters in one day! Oh sorry... i think i just gave away my next surprise... ;) LOL anyways - yeah - so... how'd u like it? PLEASE REVIEW!! :D thanks :) They're much appreciated :) Anwyas - OHH i wanted to thank cheesetaco for her wonderful and consistant reviews - they make my day :) thanks so much (and i'm glad u like the head-whacking ;0 - as a matter of fact - so do i ;D XD)


	13. Chapter 13

HEY GUYS! Okay, so, this chapter is dedicated to the AMAZING AND KIND.... (drum role please)..... CHEESETACO! LOL!! And you all should REALLY check out her stories - they're all about the Marauder Era!! YAY!! GO SIRIUS! GO JAMES! GO REMUS! GO LILY! SCREW PETER! LOL xD Anyways - so this chapter is dedicated to her for all her kind and consistant reviews. :) Be sure to check out her stories :) NOW - ON WITH THE STORY! :DD

**Chapter 13**

Suddenly, Harry remembered Sirius. He pulled the mirror from where he had put it face down on the bed to face him and saw the face of a slumbering Sirius. Guilt filled Harry; _I can't believe I forgot about him!_ He thought to himself, enraged. He sighed. His Godfather looked so peaceful sleeping so he didn't want to wake him. He put the mirror down on his bed again, face down, and silently beckoned his friends to follow him. They quirked their eyebrows at him but said nothing and followed silently instead. When they arrived back in the Common Room Harry plunked himself down in one of the armchairs across the fire that he, Hermione, and Ron had a constant habit of occupying with a sigh. Hermione and Ron sat in the chairs that were on either side of him. They both waited for him to say something, but when he remained silent, Hermione cleared her throat.

"Um… Harry?" Harry twitched, showing her that he was listening. "Um, what's wrong?" Harry looked at her, pure confusion melted into his features.

"That's the problem – _I don't know_." As Harry said those three words, Hermione and Ron could both feel the pain radiating from Harry. Harry looked down at his folded hands that were resting on his lap. "Every time I see them and speak with them, I'm reminded of how much pain and horror I've caused them." Harry's eyes looked wet, which just showed Hermione and Ron truly how troubled he was and the urgency of the situation since Harry almost _never_ cried. Hermione got up from her chair and sat on the armrest of his chair.

"Harry, what – exactly – do you feel pain _about_? Like – do you think maybe it's just sadness at what happened to them? Harry – have you ever thought that maybe it was just your limitless compassion that's making you feel – " but Harry didn't even let her finish before he jumped up, anger glinting in his eyes.

"You really want to know what it's about? Fine! I'll tell you! I feel horrible that they all died because of me – in one way or another! My parents died to save me – but I'm as good as dead anyway because of the prophecy!" Harry hadn't even realized what he had just said – he was too angry. You see, he hadn't gotten around to telling Hermione and Ron about the prophecy yet – and he hadn't planned on doing so either; he was too afraid of what their reactions would be when they found out that he was either to be a killer or be killed. He was so angry he didn't even notice the change in facial expression on his friends' faces. He just continued his rant.

"But – every time I feel bad for them – I remember _Snape_! I remember how horrible my father and Sirius treated him – and then I think to myself that maybe they _did_ deserve their fates – but then I feel all guilty because they're my _parents_ and Snape's just a professor, yet I still somehow side him over my parents! _What is wrong with me_?" Harry finally yelled in exasperation.

"Well – I'm no healer or anything Harry – but it would seem that your issue is that you are angry," Fred joked, walking down the dorm stairs, George at his heels. Harry didn't reply, but just plopped back down on the chair he had been sitting on with a sigh and put his head in his hands.

"Hey – you okay, mate?" George asked, coming to stand beside Hermione – who had remained in her spot on the armrest of Harry's chair.

"No," Harry said, deadpanned. Fred and George looked at each other; Harry wasn't usually this open about how he was feeling. Usually he said he was completely fine when, obviously, that was never the case. Fred came to stand beside his twin.

"Anything we can do to help, mate?" Fred asked – now truly concerned. Harry just shook his head, which was still in his hand. Fred and George looked at each other again. There was obviously something wrong with Harry – but it was obviously about some secret that the Golden Trio shared. Fred and George didn't mind; they knew that only Ron and Hermione knew Harry like the back of their hands, so obviously, if something was wrong with Harry, they would make sure they did everything in their power to help him.

Fred and George nodded at each other, each coming to the same conclusion. They each clapped Harry on the back.

"Well – we hope that whatever your problem is – "

"you'll get through it – "

"and still remain the charming young man you are today," Fred completed, each of the twins grinning cheekily. Harry looked up at the twins and gave them a weak attempt at a smile. The twins then departed, looking back one last time to wink at Harry and say, "oh – by the way – "

"if it's girl issues you're having – "

"feel free to come to us." They then departed, a wide grin on each of their faces. Hermione scoffed at their backs while Ron just rolled his eyes and muttered, "gits," under his breath. Harry just shook his head, amused by the twins' antics and touched by their concern. Harry sighed.

"I'm sorry I'm bugging you with all of my rants, you guys," Harry said, a sad smile on his face. Ron started shaking his head right away and Hermione put a hand on his shoulder instantly. She squeezed it.

"Harry – there's nothing to be sorry about. In fact, I'm glad that you can come to us when you have a problem." Hermione smiled sincerely up at him while Ron nodded.

"Yeah, mate, I am too." Ron agreed. Harry just smiled weakly up at them at a loss for words.

"Thanks guys – you don't know how much you two, and your support, means to me," Harry told them – his voice rough with emotion. Hermione just smiled at him – unshed tears in her eyes – while Ron just nodded in understanding. Harry looked back down at his lap again and sighed. "Well, what do you guys think I should do?" Harry asked them – breaking the silence that had fallen over them like a spell in the last few minutes. Ron shrugged his shoulders – an apologetic look on his face.

"Sorry mate – you know I was never good with ideas. That has always been – and always _will_ be – Hermione's job," he finished cheekily, managing to duck just in time from the pillow Hermione had thrown at him – missing by just an inch. Ron sat back up and grinned at her while she rolled her eyes, her brown knitted together. That told Harry that she was thinking; that was the look that was always on her face before doing something particularly dangerous or even taking an exam – it was her game face.

Suddenly Hermione's face cleared of all of her thought wrinkles and she laughed.

"Boy, am I stupid!" she exclaims suddenly. Ron just raises his eyebrows at her.

"That's a first," he muttered under his breath. Harry tried suppressing a grin while Hermione threw another pillow at Ron, not even looking in his direction – she was too busy beaming at Harry.

"It's so simple Harry!" she says, happily. Harry raised his eyebrows.

"If it's so easy, how come none of us thought of it before?" Hermione just rolled her eyes at his response – her excited expression flooding her face as quickly as it had left.

"Harry – if you felt incredible guilty about something – what would you do about it?" she asked him, her eyes burning with the intensity of her excitement. Harry just shrugged, unsure of the answer she wanted out of him.

"Umm… I would apologize I guess…." Harry's eyes widened as it dawned on him. "Hermione – that's an _excellent_ idea! Do you really think it will work?" Harry asked her – her excitement reflected in his eyes, now.

"Couldn't hurt," Hermione pointed out, practically. Ron was just looking back and forth from Harry to Hermione and back again. Harry grinned at him.

"We're gonna try getting rid of past animosities," Harry told him. Comprehension dawned on Ron almost as quickly as it had Harry. When Ron realized what they were going on about, he grinned.

"Excellent idea! It's going to work – I _know_ it is," Ron said, assurance lining his voice. Harry hoped he was right. He _really _hoped so.


	14. Chapter 14

Ok ok I know - I have no excuse XD Anyways, I'm sorry this took so long - I just couldn't bring myself to write for some odd reason xD Anyways, I hope the extra long length of it helps to make up for the delay. Anyways, ON WITH THE STORY! Oh and please review even though I don't deserve it XD It helps motivate me :)

**Chapter 14**

*** Somewhere in Heaven…***

James looked up at Lily, grief in his eyes. He saw that Lily's eyes were red too.

"He hates me," James whispered, pain radiating off of him. Lily realized that even though she was very upset as well, she knew she would have to be strong for James. She waved her hand over the glass table that she and James had been watching the recent events through, making the images disappear, and once again returning it to its original form – a plain, round glass table.

Lily wrapped her arms around James' waist and breathed in his "heavenly" scent. _Oh how corny, Lily_, she told herself, amused. She felt James shudder and was brought out of her reverie. She sighed.

"James – " but he didn't let her finish. He broke away from her suddenly and turned to face her with full-fledged anger in his eyes. Lily hadn't seen him this angry since one of the Slytherins had attacked her in seventh year, rendering her unconscious. Lily stepped back nervously. The anger in James' eyes dimmed slightly and he sighed. He walked towards Lily and wrapped his arms around her waist as she buried her head in the crook of his neck. James breathed in the scent of Lily's magnificent red hair and sighed, slowly beginning to calm down.

"I'm sorry Lily. I'm not mad at you – nor at anyone else, but _myself_." He referred to himself with such passionable hatred, that Lily was shocked. James _never_ talked about himself this way.

"How could I have done all of those things? Like, I know I was bad, but bad to the point where Harry _hates_ me? How could I have done this? I'm such a horrible role model – yet my son turned out perfectly, thank _God_! What if Harry had followed in my footsteps and had become – " James swallowed, " – like me?"

Lily looked deeply into his eyes and stroked his face soothingly.

"Shh… James… it's okay," she whispered. "He doesn't hate you." James had opened his mouth to retort at her, but she simply placed a finger over his lips, wordlessly gesturing for silence. She went back to stroking his face and continued. "Harry is just torn between his love for us and doing the right thing, James. You and I both know that he loves us, Sirius, and Iris beyond anything – and the only reason why he is so upset and is speaking like this is because he _loves_ us – " she said the word with such reverence, " – but he knows what we did as teenagers was wrong, and harming Snape had been wrong, which is why he's torn between what is right, and who he loves." James just looked at her, incredulous.

"Lily – you heard him! He said that we deserved to _die_, Lily, _die_! He said that we _deserved_ our brutal end! This is all my fault! Had I not been a git to Snape – none of this would have happened! And I mean literally _none_ of this would have happened!" James was so furious with himself. Lily and he had had this argument before.

You see, James believes that had he and Sirius not been so horrible to Snape in Hogwarts, he might have not turned out to be a Death Eater, therefore he wouldn't have heard the Prophecy made about Harry, therefore he, Lily, and Harry would still be a family – had it not been for his horrible mistakes. Therefore, James constantly blamed their deaths on himself, as well as Harry's plight, much to Lily's annoyance. The number of times James had apologized to Lily for what he believed was his destiny _only_ – not Lily's – yet because they were married, it affected her too, and James couldn't bare that truth. Lily could feel one of these infamous arguments about to surface, so she quickly stopped James before she had to listen to his endless rant and string of apologies.

Lily placed both of her hands on either side of his face and kissed him deeply, distracting him from his current coherent thoughts. James knew exactly what she was doing, but that didn't mean that he _wanted_ to stop her – and he probably wouldn't anytime soon.

After a few minutes, Lily pulled away, breathless. James just looked at her with a deadpanned look in his eyes.

"He hates me," James repeated. Lily just shook her head, exasperated.

"He does not hate you!" Lily exclaimed. James just nodded vigorously at her. Lily sighed; she understood that Harry was angry – _and with good reason_, she thought to herself, grimly – but she also knew that Harry didn't hate them; he was just torn up about what was the _right_ thing to believe. "This – if anything – proves just how _much_ he loves you since he's trying to choose between protecting Severus and siding with you. You yourself knew you were wrong, and if Harry is upset that you had done all those things that just means he loves you so much and he thinks so highly of you because he loves you – and he wants to continue being able to look up to you like that, so when he thinks of Severus, I'm sure it upsets him." Lily shrugged, trying to show James that it wasn't that big of a deal – but James' beliefs were not to be changed. He continued to stare at Lily with that defeated look in his eye – showing her just how much pain he was in from his previous actions. Lily sighed and stood on her toes to give him a peck on the lips. "Everything's gonna be okay, James," Lily crooned softly, hoping with all her heart that this statement would turn out truer than she actually believed.

***

"You really think it's going to work, Ron?" Harry asked, nervous. Ron nodded his head vigorously,

"Course, mate! I _know_ it's going to work," Ron exclaimed, clapping Harry on the back. Harry smiled at him weakly, hoping to all the Deities in the World that Ron was right. Harry took a deep breath and called out Sirius' name into the mirror. Harry's stomach clenched with anticipation, wondering if Sirius was going to answer or not. As soon as the mirror's face changed from reflecting Harry's to showing Sirius', Harry let out a deep breath he had not known he had been holding.

Harry forced a smile at Sirius.

"Hey Sirius! What's up?" Harry asked with false cheer. Sirius grinned, sweeping the hair out of his eyes.

"Us, what else?" Sirius asked, winking. Harry forced out a chuckle. Sirius' eyebrows pulled together as he adopted a look of concern and asked, "Harry, is everything alright?" Harry opened his mouth to say yes, and he just wanted to say hi to them, but then thought better of it. He closed his mouth and frowned, thinking the best way to approach what he wanted to say.

Sirius waited for an answer, but when he didn't get one, he decided to help prompt Harry.

"Harry, if you want to ask us something or say something, don't hesitate." Sirius smiled at him in reassurance. Harry took a deep breath.

"Can I please speak to you, Iris, Mum, and Dad, please?" Sirius looked startled at the formality of his Godson and just nodded.

"I'll go get them and then call into the mirror right away when we're all present," Sirius said, still looking slightly nervous. Harry nodded in acceptance and forced a smile in thanks before the mirror returned to showing him his reflection.

Harry looked to his right and cocked his head at Ron in question. Ron nodded and said, "yeah, he's here – don't _worry_ Harry; everything's gonna be _fine_," he added when he saw how nervous Harry was.

"Yeah, I'm probably worrying for no reason… but I just can't help it!" Harry yelled out, frustrated. Ron nodded solemnly.

"I know, Harry, but still – try as hard as you can, alright? Harry, the worst that can happen is either of them saying no, so you shouldn't worry so much. You're doing your part, and after this everything is out of your hands. It's their decision that controls what happens next, not what you say," Ron pointed out wisely. Harry nodded and graced his loyal friend with a grin, albeit a bit forced.

"I didn't know you and Dumbledore were so close," Harry remarked, smirking slightly. When Ron cocked his eyebrow in question, Harry replied, "you're beginning to sound like him. Are you _sure_ you're 16 and not 170?" Harry dodged a pillow that Ron threw at him, scowling. For a second Harry thought he was angry, but then he realized that Ron's eyes were twinkling. However, before Harry or Ron could say anything more, Sirius' face reappeared in the mirror. He forced a smile at Harry, but Harry could see through his façade. Sirius eyes were brimming with worry, and there was an, almost, foreign crease between his eyebrows, despite the forced smile.

"Well Harry, we're all present, so shoot." Harry saw James, Lily, and Iris in the background behind Sirius. Lily and Iris both forced smiles at Harry, but James did not. James had a deadpanned expression on and didn't even make an effort to make a comforting gesture at his son, even though he knew that something was probably wrong. Feeling a bit nervous at his father's behaviour, Harry looked over at Ron. He gave Harry the thumbs-up sign and motioned for him to continue on. Harry smiled gratefully at him before returning his attention to the mirror. He then took a deep breath before beginning his semi-prepared "speech".

"Mom, Dad, Sirius, Iris," Harry said, as he turned to each person to nod at them, acknowledging his presence. Harry took another deep breath. "Okay, look – I called you all here because I have something to… request… of you all." Harry took another breath to calm himself before explaining himself. "I know that you all are great people – amazing, really – but, there is something that has been bugging me for the last while. And I would like to talk to you guys about it." His previous guardians didn't reply, but looked at each other in surprise before turning back to the mirror instead. Harry wasn't known for talking about his emotions, thoughts, or feelings. Harry tried to ignore the surprised looks they had given each other and continue on with what he had been saying. "I – I want you to apologize to Snape," Harry suddenly exploded, losing his control and confidence. Sirius stared at him – his mouth agape; Iris had a look of mild surprise on her face and her eyebrows were raised; Lily's eyes were wide, but there was a look of distinct pride on her face as well; James' reaction was the least expected, however, because as soon as the words had come out of Harry's mouth, he had begun nodding vigorously and had jumped out of his seat, ready for action. Iris was the first person who managed to reply to Harry's request.

"And what, might I ask, brought this sudden request on?" Her voice was full of curiosity, but Harry could sense the underlying pride in her voice and smiled at her, grateful for breaking the awkward silence.

"It had come to my attention recently that, despite how amazing you all are, you still had made mistakes as children, and one of them resulted in making a normal guy as horrid as possible – not including Voldemort, of course," Harry added quickly. He sighed when Sirius' open mouth opened even more. "I feel – no offence, of course – that if you guys hadn't really bugged him when he was younger, he wouldn't have turned out to be as bitter as he is today," Harry told them, his tone apologetic. "Listen, guys, I love you all, that's why I'm saying this. I don't want people having animosities towards you guys, even if, at one point, you deserved it." Harry winced when he finished talking, realizing that that might not have been the best way to speak to his parents and his godparents. "Look, I know I'm being very rude, and you guys are probably infuriated right now, but I feel so guilty. I feel like I have to decide between doing the right thing and being loyal to my parents and family, you know?"

"No I _don't_ know, Harry," Sirius suddenly spoke up, his voice gruff with anger. This was the reaction that Harry had been dreading, and yet had also been somewhat suspecting that that would occur. Harry sighed.

"Look – Sirius – " but Sirius didn't let him finish.

"Jesus, what the hell is _wrong_ with you, Harry?!" Sirius suddenly exploded. "Why the bloody hell should we apologize to him? He deserved what he got, that bloody slime ball," Sirius growled out. Harry stared at him, stricken. "You're so bloody retarded Harry; you're a disgrace to us all! Tell him Prongs!" Sirius huffed, his eyes glinting with fury and betrayal. Harry was stunned at his words. How could Sirius _say_ such things? Harry looked at his father trying to gauge his reaction and emotions. Harry was startled to see fury on his father's face. He had thought that least of all his father would have understood how he felt. Obviously, he had been wrong, Harry realized, fury building inside of him. However, before Harry could say anything in retaliation, his father spoke first.

"Sirius!" James thundered, furious beyond all reason. How _dare_ he accused his _son_ of being a disgrace to them. "How could you _say_ such things? If _anything_, Harry is completely right, and you are wrong! Don't you realize the damage we have caused? By being horrible to Snape, we have robbed Harry of his entire childhood! If we hadn't gone and picked on Snape, he wouldn't have become a Death Eater, and he wouldn't have been picking on Harry for 5 years straight!" James had straightened up to reveal his entire height, showing his friend just how angry he really was. Sirius, who had never been on the receiving end of James' wrath, was shocked. James _always_ sided with him! But then Sirius realized that James would only side against him if he was dead wrong. Slowly it dawned on Sirius that Harry and James were right, and he had been dead wrong.

Guilt began eating away at the inside of Sirius when he realized the seriousness of what he had done and said. He let his remorse flood into his face and he turned to Harry, his eyes beseeching.

"I'm so sorry, Harry. You were completely right and I was dead wrong. I'm an extremely huge prat. I'm so sorry – you deserved nothing of what I said. I never meant anything – I was just letting my unjust anger get the best of me, and for that I am truly sorry. I never meant a thing – nor will I _ever_ mean anything like that, ever. I really care about you Harry, and I see now that you were right about the whole Snape situation. I was just letting the school-boy bully in me take control again." Sirius closed his eyes and sighed. He opened them again to look at Harry, his eyes playing on the same beseeching look he had just given Harry. "Forgive me?" he asked, his voice sounding hopeful yet full of pain at the same time. Harry thought for a minute before smiling at him.

"Of course, Sirius; I know you would never say anything that horrible to me, and I also know why you said it – but trust me, Snape deserves to be apologized to. Trust me," Harry added when he saw the slightest flicker of doubt in Harry's eyes. Sirius then turned to his wife and his best friends.

The whole time Lily and Iris had been staring at Sirius with dumbfounded and shocked looks on their face. Lily's was one of sorrow and fury, while Iris' was just of fury. James had just kept his enraged gaze on Sirius even after he had yelled at him. During Sirius's apology, however, his fury had softened somewhat, and his face was somewhat deadpanned again. Lily's gaze and fury had softened too, but not Iris'; her fury was not wavering, and neither was her gaze. Sirius turned to James first and bowed his head in shame.

"I'm sorry, James. I don't know what came over me. I was an idiot, and I'm so sorry for what I said. Everything you said was right and I earned every word of what you said to me. It is not Harry that is a disgrace – it is I. I am not fit to be his Godfather, and I am so flattered that you had actually put me as Godfather in the first place. I – " but James did not let him finish. Instead, he pulled towards him and engulfed him in a hug. James forced out a little chuckle, but it was a chuckle all the same.

"It's alright, Sirius, jeez." Sirius returned his embrace full-force and sighed. He looked at James.

"I really _am_ sorry, James, and to you too, Harry." Harry shrugged, as did James.

"You already apologized," they both chastised him at the same time. This made them both grin, although James' was still a bit forced.

"Great minds think alike Harry," James reminded him with a wink. Harry grinned at his father. Next Sirius turned to Lily and repeated the same things he had said before, and had been – like both times previously – forgiven right away. Finally, Sirius turned to Iris. She still had that furious look on her face and her expression was stony as well.

"Iris?" Sirius said, softly, as though afraid that his one word would explode her any second, _which it probably would_, Harry thought to himself, smiling mentally. Iris pointedly ignored him, causing Sirius to run his hands through his hair nervously. "Listen, Iris, I'm really sorry, and if you hadn't heard before, I _am_ remorseful over what I said, and I never meant to hurt anyone with my words. I'm just an idiotic hot-headed git," Sirius told her, shrugging. Iris smirked at his half-hearted attempt at a joke.

"I know," she said, glaring. Harry watched the expressions playing out on Sirius' face and realized that her every word and emotion was hurting Sirius, and that every second the discord between them continued, his pain was increasing tenfold. Harry felt bad for him and decided to spare him some of Iris' wrath.

"Iris – please – forgive Sirius. I know where he's coming from – really – but I also know that he didn't mean any of the hurtful things he said; he was just infuriated, and in fury, people tend to do things they regret afterwards." Iris' stony expression stayed on her for a few more minutes before she finally relented and sighed.

"Are you _sure_ you're ok, Harry?" she asked him, concerned. Harry just nodded. She sighed again, then nodded. She looked at Sirius, a menacing glare inhabiting his features again. She walked up to him, slowly, and stood in front of him. After about thirty seconds, she walked a little closer so that they were only a few inches apart, her chocolate irises glinting in the light, before leaning in suddenly and whacking his head. "There!" she exclaimed, "and that's the _least_ of what you deserve!" she continued on angrily, turning away from him and stepping a few feet away, again, so she was between Lily and James, and therefore away from Sirius. Sirius smiled weakly in thanks at Harry, understanding that this punishment was nothing compared to what he _could_ have received.

Harry sighed; all this tension had drained him, and he knew he had to do something about it before he exploded.

"So… seen any good Quidditch matches lately?" Harry said out of the blue. Lily, Iris, and Sirius looked at each other before bursting into bouts of laughter. James just smiled weakly.

***

Harry looked at Ron and asked, "he's still there, right?" his voice slightly higher than normal with all the panic. Ron rolled his eyes.

"_Yes_, he is _still_ there, in the exact same place he was when you told me to check," Ron checked his watch, "37 seconds ago," he concluded, annoyed. Harry smiled apologetically. Ron just shook his head.

Harry and Ron were standing outside Snape's office, the Marauder's Map, the invisibility cloak, and the 2-way mirror in tow. Harry looked down at the mirror into the faces of James and Sirius (Lily and Iris were watching what was going on from the enchanted glass table).

"You guys ready?" he asked, his voice betraying the fear and nervousness he was feeling but wasn't showing. James nodded, smiling a little, and Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Harry, for the millionth and first time, _yes, we are ready_!" Sirius exclaimed, thoroughly irritated. Harry laughed, amused and relieved somewhat at his Godfather's ease. James rolled his eyes, a small smile playing on the corners of his mouth at his best friend.

"Okay," Harry said, taking a deep breath and rapping on the door in front of him 3 times. He heard Ron taking out the cloak from his robe pocket and throwing it over himself. Harry took another deep breath and began to wonder if the Map had been wrong and if Snape was actually away. Harry began hoping that this was the case, but as soon as Harry had decided to go back, the door flew open to reveal a very irritated looking Snape. Harry gulped.

Snape stared down at Harry, but when he didn't say anything, he sneered at him.

"Is there something I can do for you, Potter?" Snape asked, his voice snide. Harry swallowed his rising anger down, reminding himself that it, hopefully, should his plan work, the Potion's Master would soon realize he is indeed _not_ like his Father, and change his ghastly attitude towards him and all of his other close Gryffindor friends. Harry swallowed again.

"Um, can I please speak with you for a minute, Professor?" Harry asked, his voice steady despite his fear. Snape just continued sneering at him.

"Do I really have a choice, Potter? Even if I _did_ say no, you would just go to the Headmaster – who happens to encourage your disregard for the rules and other such behaviour – and demand that I be spoken to, and your demands met. So, what is it Potter?" When Harry didn't speak, his eyes flashed. "Well? Out with is Potter – I have no time to waste here with you!" His annoyed words acting as a stimulant, Harry pulled his Gryffindor courage to the surface and rose to his full height. He addressed the Slytherin once more.

"In private, please, Professor." Snape just glared at him for another moment before stepping to the side, allowing Harry access to his office. He didn't know why he was humouring the Gryffindor instead of just humiliating him and kicking him straight out.

Snape closed the door behind the Gryffindor and stood with his arms crossed, staring down at the annoying Potter brat whose head was bowed. When Potter didn't say anything, Snape sneered at him.

"As I have already mentioned, Potter, I, unlike _you_, do not have impeccable amounts of time to waste." He glared down at the nervous Gryffindor. Before he could finally lose his temper with the brat, he lifted his head to glare at the Potions Master. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and finally spoke.

"I wanted to speak with you… in private." Before the Slytherin could retort with a snarky comment, the boy continued speaking. "I didn't want to do this where other people could hear us because I know that it would cause trouble, which I would very much like to avoid." Snape just continued to glare down at the Gryffindor, his expression irritated. Harry took a deep breath and pulled the mirror out from behind him. He looked down at it and muttered something, much to the Potions Master's annoyance.

"Stop your incessant muttering, Potter!" Snape snarled at the boy.

"Snape – please – for _once_ in your life – be _nice_," Snape heard the cheeky response and suddenly anger grew inside of him. He had done the boy a favour by letting him into his office and giving him a chance to say what he wanted, and this is how the boy repaid him? The insufferable little _brat_! He was about to give Potter an earful, but the boy beat him to it. At first Snape had thought that the boy had been talking to him, but then – with a jolt – he realized that the boy wasn't, in fact, talking to him, but was instead talking into…. _A mirror! _Comprehension dawned on Snape, but then he got confused again. He decided to try and tune into what the boy had been saying again, and then, maybe, just maybe, he could figure this out.

Potter was glaring into the mirror and talking into it with an irritated edge to his voice.

"You _know_ the point of coming here, yet you _still_ couldn't control your pathetic emotions!" Potter's eyes were blazing and Snape could very well see how angry he was. The question was who was he angry with? Snape saw Potter take a few deep breaths to try and calm himself down. "Sorry," he began quietly, "I didn't mean to snap. It's just… that was kind of uncalled for, and, well, it's probably going to make the task much harder if you keep making remarks like that," Potter said pointedly at the mirror. Potter was irritated with someone for insulting _Snape_ of all people? Snape was mildly surprised, but he didn't show it. Instead, he kept his usual cold mask on the outside, his permanent sneer firmly in place.

"Quit talking to yourself, Potter!" Snape snapped. Potter looked up, startled.

"Uhh… I – I wasn't talking to myself, sir…" Harry mumbled. His mumbling nagged at Snape's temper.

"I don't appreciate lies, either!" Harry winced at his obviously furious tone.

"I'm not lying, sir. Please, I actually came here to show you something."

"Well? Hurry up, Potter! I don't have all day to listen to pathetic nonsense!" Snape snapped. Harry visibly winced. His hold on the mirror tightened so Snape assumed that whatever it is Potter was there for had something to do with that mirror. Potter looked down at the mirror again before facing Snape, a new confidence present in his features. Harry took a deep breath before addressing the reason he had come for.

"Professor, you know how – um – we had gone to stay in Grimmauld Place with Sirius during Christmas, right? Well, while we were there, Sirius had given me a package. However, I never opened it. A – after – the – the – fi – fiasco at the Min – Minis – Ministry, when Sir – Sirius went through the Ve- Vei – Veil... I – I was very upset. When I was sorting through my things the next day, I saw the package sitting unopened in the bottom of my trunk. I opened it to find a mirror from a two-way mirror set. You know what that is, right Professor?" Snape sneered.

"Yes, Potter, I am not as brainless as you are; I know what a two-way mirror is." Harry nodded, trying to ignore Snape's goading voice. Snape had been quite surprised to see Potter stutter so, especially in front of him. He had thought about ridiculing Potter about it, but then thought better of it. Even _he_ wasn't that cruel. He would make ridicule Potter about it in a few months when he would have gotten over the mutt's death already, Snape planned, evilly.

"Well, I got really excited for a moment; I thought I was going to be able to speak with Sirius again. Well, I called out his name into the mirror, but, obviously, nothing happened. I was heartbroken; it felt like I had lost him all over again. Well, anyways, during the night, I woke up to a bunch of loud voices. At first I thought I was imaging them, but then I saw that my dorm-mates were stirring, so I quickly put a sound barrier around my bed and tried to deduce where the voices were coming from. It turns out that they were, in fact, coming from my mirror. I looked into it to see – " Harry couldn't continue. He hadn't realized how much of an impact being able to speak with his guardians again had made on him. He hadn't realized how much it meant to him to have his family back, nor had he realized how much he appreciated it. Snape tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for the blasted boy to continue. Snape would never admit it to anyone, but the boy actually had him intrigued.

"Well? _Out with it, Potter_!" Harry took another deep breath.

"I looked in to see my Parents and Sirius."


	15. Chapter 15

Sorry this took so long guys, and sorry it's not even a long chapter. This one was really hard to write. Anyways, sorry again, and enjoy :)

**Chapter 15**

***Snape's POV***

The boy had surpassed his limits. Did he honestly think me to be such a fool and fall for his stupid trick??? I had been tricked countless times by his worthless Father – I'm not going to fall for one of his _offspring's _tricks now! _He's Lily's son too. Remember? Lily? Lily Evans? Your best friend? _I ignored the voice of reason in my head and turned my facial expression (which had become shocked) back to the menacing glare I'm so fond of.

I walked forward and grabbed the son of my enemy – _and best friend – _by the scruff of his shirt and picked him up off the floor. What really surprised me is the fact that the brat didn't even fight back. All he did was look at me, his green eyes burning with an emotion I couldn't comprehend. His mouth was closed yet all of a sudden I heard a few yells and swear words. I dropped the boy and looked around, my wand in front of me. I was surprised when the brat sighed and looked into the mirror. He pulled it up to his face and began talking.

"Please – don't. I don't blame him, guys." The voices didn't respond to the Potter brat. _Obviously I am losing my mind if I expected voices to come out of a _mirror_. _The brat just stayed there looking into the mirror – glaring, more like it. Suddenly a voice _did_ come out of a mirror – and it was a woman's. Shock coursed through my body at the sound of the voice. I stared at the boy, trying to gauge his reaction. I turned my stare onto the mirror, waiting for the voice to come out of it again. I couldn't believe my ears. It had sounded just like her.... _No. I will _not _allow myself to be fanciful!_

"I thought that you guys were just watching?" the boy said with a questioning tone.

"I felt it necessary to intervene. You two, leave." The brat nodded at the mirror before glancing up at me. I glared at him. "Harry, please, give it to him." Harry looked at the mirror, surprised.

"What? No way! What if he breaks it? I'll – I'll never get the opportunity to talk to you again! Please – I don't think I could lose you guys like that. _Please!_" the brat finally begged, his voice agonized.

"Harry – _please_. I promise you – he won't. Will you, Sev?" the voice said. I started. _What?_ I noticed the brat glaring daggers at me. I glared at him in return. However, like always, I couldn't refuse that special voice anything that it asked of me. Silently I nodded my head. The voice seemed to know what I had done because it then spoke again, this time in an appreciative tone of voice. "Thank you, Sev." I just inclined my head – my way of acknowledging her thanks.

The brat finally nodded his head once at me, showing that he was trusting me. I was somewhat surprised at the fact that the voice had the same effect on him as it does me.

"You can trust me to not destroy your precious trinket, Potter." He didn't say anything. He just put the mirror in my hand and walked out of my office. I hid my surprise, however, and finally looked down at the mirror he had handed me.

The first thing that caught my eye was a rather large almond-shaped, green eye. My breath caught. The eye blinked a few times before I managed to choke out the words, "Lily? Lily is that you?"

"It's me."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Snape took a deep, shuddering breath. Lily. His best friend. His love. Lily. Lily Evans.... His worst enemy's wife. Lily Eva – Lily Potter. Potter. Black. Potter. Black. Potter. Potter! POTTER!!!  
"What do you want, Potter?" The eye became smaller and smaller until Snape was finally looking into Lily's whole face. Her whole entire beautiful, white, creamy face, framed with red, luscious hair. Her beautiful almond shaped, emerald green eyes narrowed at him in anger that he hadn't seen for a very long time.

"I thought I was Lily to you? Or now since you remembered that I'm married to James I've become _Potter_ to you? I thought maybe you'd changed. You know, since you're protecting my son and all? By the way, I actually wanted to thank you for that. I really appreciate you doing that for me. You don't know how many times I've wanted to hurt myself for putting you in this precarious situation. The fact that you're protecting my son because of _my_ mistake means a lot to me. That's what I was originally going to tell you, but now, I can't really bring myself to say it with the conviction and emotion I was originally going to say it with. All I can now remember at the front of my mind are the bad things – like the fact that you were the one who told Voldemort" – Snape flinched – "about the Prophecy, and all of the other bad things that happened in school, and how, especially, you treat my son. I know there is a certain amount you have to pretend because of your Death Eater life, but a lot of the things you do you don't have to to remain in Voldemort's good books. You can at least give my son a break once in a while! You won't be torturing James if you torture Harry; they're two different people, Severus! Yes, emotionally you'd be hurting James, but do you _really_ want to torture an innocent child because of your childish hatred for someone who's _dead_? That's just _pathetic_, Severus. And don't forget, if you think you're torturing James, you are, if only emotionally, but you're also torturing me, and for a Mother, seeing her kids tortured is more of a physical pain then an emotional one. Therefore, I hope you're happy having tortured me for the past 5 years!"

Snape was dumbstruck. He couldn't remember the last time she spoke with such emotion to him. Okay, well, he _could_, but he didn't want to reflect on that part of their past relationship _just_ yet. Snape swallowed but discovered he still couldn't get words to come out of his mouth. He realized, after a few minutes of just standing there, that he was sorry. He was sorry for hurting Lily. He loved her – he hadn't wanted to _hurt_ her.... But he had. And he had hurt her _bad_. That's when he realized he wanted to make up for it. He _needed_ to make up for it; he couldn't just leave her like this, and not try and make up for the moron that he was for five years. He loved her way too much to do that. He then and there decided that he would make it up to his love. No matter what.

* * *

I know

You guys will never forgive me XD

I am so so so so so so so so so sooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry

Please forgive me for the lack of updates

And thanks to all who kept reviewing

And sorry this is so short

And thanks for all of those who kept faith in me - I dedicate this chapter to all of you (:


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"You're right, Lily. I'm so sorry." Snape saw Lily's head, which has been turned away from the mirror, quickly turn back and look at the mirror. It broke Snape's heart to see that she looked shocked. "You didn't expect me to apologize, did you?" Snape asked her, sad. Lily blushed; she hadn't done that in a long time.

"I'm sorry, it's just – well, you don't really seem like the type who would apologize anymore...." Lily blushed even harder. Snape looked away from the mirror and at his feet for a minute. He couldn't describe how he felt. Ashamed? Yeah, that was one way of putting it.... He didn't know why Lily's expression or words had made him feel that way. He hadn't felt that way in a long time.

"Lily – I'm so sorry." Snape felt his eyes tearing. He couldn't stop them; there was just so much emotion in him – he couldn't stop the tears from flowing. "I know I've said and done horrible things – and I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! I can't stand it – I was... unexplainably horrible, and I know it will be almost impossible for you to forgive me, if you even consider doing that much. I know I don't deserve it, but, please, for the sake of our past friendship, please, _please_ try." When Lily didn't say anything, Snape sighed. "I guess I can't blame you for not wanting to forgive a monster like me." Snape heard her gasp and looked up at her.

"Severus, just because I didn't say anything doesn't mean that I don't forgive you, and it _definitely_ doesn't mean that you're a monster. You've just made some... bad choices, that's all." Snape sighed.

"I shouldn't have – and I'm so sorry. I swear – your son will never be treated like that by me again. But, the only thing is that I won't be able to defend him outright, and I might have to continue to make remarks because of my double-role." Lily sighed.

"I know... but still. It's just so hard for me to accept that Harry's life has to be harder than it already is... you know? I know you think that his life is all glamour and ease... but it's not. Petunia and Vernon treat him like a slave, he has to save the World from the most evil wizard of all time, and he has no one to back him up and support him. He's too afraid to let people close to him...."

"Why?" Lily sighed.

"He feels that every time he gets close to people, they always get hurt because of him... and that's not true. He blames Sirius' and Cedric's death on himself, and he also despises himself for endangering the Weasleys constantly. In his opinion they always get hurt because of him and his mistakes alone. He doesn't want to trouble them so much, but he can hardly handle being at Petunia's either." Lily sighed again. "And now he doesn't even have Sirius or Grimmauld Place to turn to – not like it was a much better place to turn to anyway." Lily placed her thumb and forefinger on the bridge of her nose and squeezed it with her eyes shut. "I just don't know what to _do_, Sev. I just feel... so... so _helpless_, you know?" Snape could hear that she was on the verge of breaking down; her voice was already wavering. He thought quickly; he didn't want her breaking down; he couldn't handle that. He still loved her way too much to allow anymore pain to affect her beautiful, selfless, delicate heart....

He thought hard. What could _he_ do that would benefit her and help ease her worry? He thought hard for a few minutes, but then, suddenly, it came to him. He wanted to smack himself. It was so simple! But... did – no – _could_ he do it? Yes, he could. For her he could do anything. Snape then took a deep breath and said the words that he was sure would be the end of him.

"I'll take him."

* * *

Hey guys!!!! Okay, so, as you can see, I'm getting SOOO much faster. (: Thank GOD. LOL Anyways, hope you liked the chapter, and please give me some feedback or any ideas you have. (: Those are always helpful. (: And thank you all so much for all the wonderful feedback you all gave me last week. (: Anyways, please keep those reviews coming, and I'll try to update as fast as I can. (: Au Revoir (:


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Lily looked at Severus, shocked.

"Wha – what did you say, Sev?" Severus sighed deeply.

"I... I'll take him." Lily's jaw dropped.

"Are you sure? No, it's fine Sev... don't worry about it..." But Severus knew he had to, and he would.

"Yes, I'm positive, Lily. I'll do it. Please? Only... only if you want me to though. It's ok if you don't want me to. Instead I'll try convincing Albus to do something about Harry. Just, please let me do _something_! And don't worry about the whole getting along thing – if I know your son, he will make an effort if I do." Lily thought for a moment. She knew that Severus was being completely earnest, but she still wasn't sure. Was it fair to Harry? First his only family member left was taken from him, and now he has to go and live with his worst nightmare? She sighed. She still had no idea what to do, but she did know one thing; Severus was right; if he made an effort to get along with Harry, then Harry would make an effort to get along with him in return. She sighed.

"I really appreciate this, Sev, but I don't think that it's fair to Harry..." She thought again for a moment. "Okay, can we make a deal? We'll keep in contact with Harry and watch him to make sure he's okay, and if anything really bad happens, or he can't handle it, I'll contact you, understand?"

"Something... bad?" Severus asked, slightly worried. Lily held the bridge of her nose again.

"When... when he was younger... they used to... they used to..." She sighed. "They used to beat him, Sev." Severus' eyes narrowed and filled with anger.

"What?" he exclaimed, furious. She nodded sadly.

"This is why I hate the fact that he's going back. They haven't beaten him in years, of course, but still. The thought that they did still haunts me."

"Well, why didn't you interfere and do anything about it? You can come in people's dreams, right? So why didn't you go into Vermin's dreams and threaten him or something? Or Petunia's dreams? You could have gone in _her_ dreams!" Lily's nostrils flared.

"What, you don't think I did anything about it? Of _course_ I did! Why do you think they stopped in the first place? James wanted to full out hurt them – we have the capabilities to do that too, however only in certain situations. James wanted to hurt them – I refused to allow him to do so. Instead, we went into both of their dreams and threatened them. James said to them that if they ever touched Harry again, he would torture both of them and their son to death in their sleep. That really scared Vernon and Petunia. They may be heartless when it comes to others, but when it comes to each other and their son, they love each other dearly. They might not show it, but they do. So, Vernon and Petunia simultaneously decided that they shouldn't beat my Harry anymore. However, they both didn't want to admit to the fact that they had had a dream threatening them to never do it again, since they both hate the Wizarding World. So, because of this, they were safe. However, I fear that because of current circumstances and how they haven't been affected by the Wizarding World in years, well, I'm afraid that their fear may have diminished to the point where it is now close to non-existent. I have a bad feeling that the slightest thing will now set Vernon off, and that would be very bad for Harry, because I'm sure that it wouldn't just be a "normal" beating."

Severus could see the panic in Lily's eyes. She was trying to hide it, and had it been anyone else, they would not have been able to see through her mask, it was so good. But not him; he could see through it, and that panic was hurting him; hurting his heart, and that was one type of pain that he could not stand, never could, and never would.

"I'll keep an eye out for him, Lily. This I promise you. I'll make sure that all that does not happen again. I don't care what I have to do, but I will do all in my power. I swear to you, he will be safe," Severus concluded with conviction.

Lily looked deeply into Severus' eyes before she nodded and smiled sadly.

"Thank you, Severus. I'm so sorry for all that happened, and I owe you. I swear I will somehow make it up to you."

"No Lily – it is I who is sorry; sorry for everything. I am so sorry that my reckless decisions impacted you and your family. I am so, so sorry, Lily. Please forgive me." Lily smiled sadly at Severus.

"Whatever happens, happens for a reason, Severus. Don't worry – I'm not expecting anything from you, okay? Don't think that you have to do anything just because you feel bad. Everything happens for a reason, and had James and I not died, Harry would not be the Chosen One, and there would not be a possibility of the war ending. There would have been no fighting chance for _anyone_, Sev. Now there is – and despite how terrified I am for Harry, I am also very proud of him. His bravery is astounding; it reminds me of you, actually," Lily said, thoughtfully. Severus looked up, shocked.

"Why? Why _me_ of all people?" Severus asked her, his eyes full of confusion.

For a while, Lily didn't reply. She just remained silent, examining Severus' eyes. She then looked down and smiled. When she looked back up at Severus, there was a new emotion present in her eyes. Was that… trust? _Why would she trust me after all I've done?_

"Because, Severus, you hold a burden on your shoulders that's even heavier than Harry's." Before Lily could even finish, Severus was shaking his head.

"Pott – Harry – has to end the Dark Lord; the whole world is depending on him. Me, not so much."

"Yes, he does carry the burden of destroying Voldemort. However, you carry double the burden; remaining on both sides. And on top of that, you _chose_ this life – Harry did not; it was forced upon him. You, however, openly accepted this burden and have been carrying it ever since. That automatically makes your burden all the more heavy to carry. You _chose_ it – he didn't." Lily smiled. "Believe me yet?" Severus sighed.

"I'll never be able to think of myself as that amazing, Lily. You _know_ that. I… despise myself way too much." Lily looked at him reproachfully.

"Severus! You have to change the way you think, Sev. This isn't healthy. Self-hatred is a horrible thing to have to live with. Trust me – I know. Only, I'm not living, however the concept is still the same. This I can promise you, Sev. Sev, _please_ try to not think like that anymore – for me?" Severus sighed.

"Lily…." He sighed again. "Okay, for you I'll try, okay? I'm not guaranteeing anything though." Lily smiled the widest he had seen yet.

"Thank you," she whispered. He smiled.

"No, thank _you_, Lily."

* * *

okay... soo... are you guys gonna kill me, or should i just jump off a cliff myself? ;P

I AM SOOOOO SORRRRYYYYY

I will get back on track now and try to update as much as possible

forgive me?

3

hope you guys stil come back and read thissss 3

im so sorry

3

LOVE YOU ALL

MWUAAHH


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 – Dead or Alive?**

Severus finished speaking with Lily about the details of how he was going to keep a watch on Harry, and if he found he was being abused what he should do. Lily told him to just go to Dumbledore, but Severus told her not to worry about how he would deal with the issue, should it arise. Lily wasn't happy about that but she let it slide, telling herself that they would never have to come to that point anyway, for Harry was _not_ going to be abused at her sister's house.

Severus opened his office door to see Weasley, Granger, and Potter all standing around, looking worried – Potter especially. Severus' office door squeaked and the teens all looked up, eyes wide and panicked.

"I'm assuming that you were worried about this?" Severus asked, lifting up the mirror, Lily's face still clearly visible. Lily smiled.

"I told you he wouldn't do anything to the mirror, Harry," she smiled. Harry smiled in return.

"I know. I trust you," Harry said seriously. Lily smiled again and blew a kiss at Harry. He smiled.

Severus looked at the mirror once more before holding the mirror out for Harry to take.

"Severus! Are you just going to give the mirror back without saying good-bye to me?" Lily asked, incredulous. Severus pulled the mirror back quickly, looking sheepish.

"Good-bye, Lily," he quirked his lips up in the fashion of a smile, and Harry's, Ron's, and even Hermione's jaw dropped. However, the teens managed to get over themselves before he could notice.

Severus gave the mirror back to Harry and was about to walk back into his office when his name was called.

"Um… Professor?" Harry asked, tentative. Severus quirked an eyebrow.

"There's someone else who would like to speak with you as well."

"Now, Severus, keep an open mind, alright?" Severus heard Lily say. Severus' eyes narrowed.

"No promises, Lily." They all heard Lily sigh in defeat.

"Okay, Sev." There was a second's pause before she spoke again, and those words provoked gasps from Severus. "James? Sirius? Come on, it's okay." Severus almost dropped the mirror.

"Pott-Potter! Take this god forsaken mirror back and _leave me alone_!" he shrieked, thrusting the mirror out to Harry.

"Sev, please," Lily begged.

"No, Lily! All those two ever did was cause me pain – and I'm not about to go through the same thing again! Especially when it can be avoided!"

"Sev, please, for me? We all need this. Please?" she asked again after a pause.

Severus was silent for a minute before finally nodding slowly. He had a very uncomfortable look on his face, like he would rather be anywhere but where he was currently. Harry and the other two teens heard a new voice, but instead of paying attention to the voice, they were busy analyzing Severus' face, watching his reaction at the new voice and face that they knew was present in the mirror.

"Hello, Severus. Um, how's it going?" Harry and the others didn't see any other visible reaction, other than the paling of Severus' skin.

"Pott – James," Severus corrected, remembering Lily.

"Listen, Severus, I know you have no desire to be here right now, so I'm going to make this quick: I'm sorry. I am so sorry, Severus. I know what we did was so wrong back then, and, honestly speaking, there was no excuse; you shouldn't even accept my apology; Sirius and I are the reason that Lily and I are dead, in actual fact. Had we not done that to you, you wouldn't have gone to Voldemort, and, well, Lily would still be alive."

"Sweetheart, it's not your fault. It was destiny. If it weren't for our lives being taken, then more people would have been dead today, and we would have probably died anyway! You know how dangerous our lives were becoming," everyone heard Lily sooth.

"But Lily, if it weren't for us, then Severus could have had his own family by now, and Harry wouldn't have been stuck with those animals," James said, his voice breaking twice. Anyone would have been able to hear the regret and pain in his voice.

Before he knew what was happening, Severus found that he was feeling sorrow for the man. He felt _sorry_ for the man! He had no idea why though. All he knew was that he did. The fact that James had acknowledged he didn't have a family of his own had really touched him, not to his delight. Before Severus let himself think about what he was about to say, he spoke.

"I am sorry as well. I do not think that I was the easiest person to be nice to either. It doesn't excuse the fact that you and your gang openly tortured me, but I do understand why you did at times. And… the thing is though… you weren't the worse of it. It was mainly Black who did it. I mean, you've even saved my life before. I will never forget the things that you've all done to me, but I can forgive you. I owe it to you after you saved my life and I caused the demise of you and your family."

"Severus, honestly speaking, I do not blame you one bit. I only blame myself, as I have been doing so for years now. I just wish I had been the only one affected by it; not Lily and Harry too," James said with such age-old sadness, it broke Harry's and Lily's hearts.

"Dad, honestly, it's no big deal. Someone had to finish off that dirty great snake anyway, might as well be an orphan," Harry tried to joke, but this time it broke Severus' heart – and he had no idea why. _What is wrong with me? Why am I getting so… sentimental? And that too for _Potter's_ child, even if I have forgiven him?  
_

"Harry! How could you _say_ something like that?" Hermione exclaimed, tears in her eyes.

"Yeah, Harry! How could you just say something so insensitive like that? You have so many people that love you and care about you – my family and I included! You can't just say something like that and expect all of us to stay silent!" Ron exclaimed, angry.

"Guys, guys, relax I didn't mean it in that way at all, I was just trying to lighten the mood – but clearly that plan failed," he grumbled under his breath.

"Prongslet, I am so proud of you." Harry grinned.

"And why is that, my dear godfather?" Harry asked, unable to wipe the grin off his face.

"Because, had James been in your position, he would have done the exact same thing," Sirius said, and Harry could practically hear the smirk in his voice. When Harry realized that that was the first time that Severus had heard Sirius' voice from the mirror, he turned to look at him, trying to gauge his reaction.

Harry was very surprised to see that there was no pure hatred or contempt on his potions master's face. Instead, there was lots of confusion and indecision present on it. It looked like Severus was trying to decide what to say, and Harry was mildly surprised. He hadn't remembered Severus ever being so considerate – to anyone of any circumstance – not even with Dumbledore.

"Black," Severus said, his voice not exactly cold, but not the pinnacle of friendliness either. It took a while for Sirius to reply, and in that meantime Harry could literally see the internal battle going on in Sirius' head in his own. He just hoped that his godfather would make the right decision.

"Snape," Sirius replied uncertainly. There was another moment of pause before Sirius continued speaking. "Listen, I know that I am probably the last person that you would ever want to speak with, but, in all honesty, you and I both know that I have some things that I need to say to you. I am sorry. I know that that doesn't even begin to cover what I did to you when we were in school, but it does convey how I feel. I don't think anything else that I say will ever be as honest and open as that was. I know that what we did to you in school affected you in more ways than one over the course of the years, and even after we got out of school. I am solely responsible for James' and Lily's death, when it comes right down to it. If I hadn't pushed you to the point of joining Voldemort, then Harry wouldn't be an orphan and James and Lily would still be alive. Harry, I truly am sorry. I hope you can forgive me. You too, James, Lily. Even you, Sna-Severus. I hope that one day you can possibly forgive me for taking away your happiness. I also hope that maybe, albeit slowly, you can learn how to be happy again. You should, Severus. You still have many years ahead of you. You didn't die along with Lily; it was just her and James; not you, so stop acting like you died that night too because we all know that you didn't for a fact, and I also happen to know that the fact that you act like you died that night bugs and hurts Lily beyond all reason, so stop."

Harry, Hermione, and Ron were in total shock at what Sirius had said to Snape. He had gone so out of character, it was hard to believe that it was even him. However, Harry knew that it was his godfather because he knew that no matter how much his godfather hated the guy, he would never want anyone to be unhappy most of their lives because of him. Harry didn't blame his godfather for Snape's personality and what he does to himself, but he also understood that his godfather was a main contributing factor to it. And although Harry hated that fact, he also knew that Sirius had had no idea how far his teasing and bullying would one day push Snape to go. Somehow, Harry sensed that even though it might not happen right away, Snape would eventually forgive Sirius for what he had done and move on with his life. He knew that it might be a while, but eventually Snape would regain happiness.

Severus was at a loss for words. He had no idea how to respond to Black's… plea, you could call it. He had absolutely no idea what to say or do. Should he just let it go and forgive the man, or should he hold onto it and use it to torture Black? Severus knew that the more appealing choice would be to torture Black with it, but he also knew that it had been hurting Lily too, therefore he was at a complete loss. Did he love Lily more or hate Black more? After not even 5 seconds of thinking, he knew exactly what the answer was.

* * *

I really can't say anything more than I am SOOOO sorry, I have been... actually there's no excuse. I sincerely apologize with all my heart and really appreciate everyone who didn't give up on me. Thank you so much, that means a lot to me. Especially to the people who reviewed recently and told me to hurry the hell up (in nice words, though). Thank you so much to all of you again, and I love each and every one of you.

I know I don't deserve it... but PLEASE R&R? 3 :D

PS, I'm not gonna lie, the people who reviewed and told me to hurry up with the story really pushed me to end up finishing this chapter (the guilt killed me O.O). *hint hint*

;)


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

"I believe you, Black," Severus said, "and I forgive you. It is beyond ridiculous for me to hold on to the past so hard when, really, there really is no point of doing so." Suddenly a thought struck Severus. He turned slowly to Harry and the other two loyal Gryffindors. "Also, I apologize to all three of you for the unnecessarily harsh manner in which I treat the three of you. I cannot promise that it will all disappear – old habits die hard – but I can promise that it will get a lot better. I apologize for my harshness and inability to understand that you and your father are two different people, Pot – Harry. Will you accept my apology?" Severus asked them, completely unsure of what all of their answers would be.

Ron, Hermione, and Harry all looked at each other before nodding at him; Hermione even gave him a slight smile. Severus couldn't recognize the emotions that he was feeling at that particular moment. All of a sudden he heard a voice calling his name; he recognized it as Lily's voice, taking him out of his reverie.

"SEVERUS!" she finally yelled.

"Sorry, sorry," he mumbled, "I was lost in thought."

"I could tell as much," Lily grumbled. "Sev, can you go somewhere private for a second? I need to talk to you." Severus looked at Lily, curious.

"Again? Why?"

"Just do it, Sev," she grumbled, a twinkle in her eye. Severus rolled his eyes but complied to her wish.

Once Severus had walked back into his office and was alone with the mirror, Lily's smile and joyous expression fell off her face.

"Lily, what's wrong?" Severus asked, suddenly worried.

"Severus… I haven't told Harry this yet, but there's a time limit on the mirror." Lily said, her eyes filling with tears.

"What? Why haven't you told him this yet?" Severus asked, knowing that Pot – Harry's reaction would be everything but joyous.

"Because I don't want him to stop living and only remain with us until our time runs out! I want to see him move on and actually begin living! I want to be able to communicate with him during these next few weeks while I try to get him to come to terms with Sirius' death, the prophecy, Voldemort, you, the Dursleys, and a bunch of other things, too! But Severus, I can't do this on my own. If I help Harry get over this stuff now, then when the time on the mirror runs out, he'll just be back to being as miserable as he was before. _What am I going to do, Sev?_" Lily asked Severus, her eyes slightly wide with deliriousness.

Severus had to control the urge to wince; he couldn't stand to see Lily so upset – it was killing him. He racked his brains for anything that was in his range of knowledge that could assist Lily in this situation.

"Um… I could brew a potion for him? I could try and find a potion that will help his mental state so that you won't be as stressed about helping him before the time limit is upon us? Would that help? I could also keep a constant batch of calming draught to help with shocks or with any of the mental or emotional pain he will feel over the next few weeks?" Severus suggested, desperate to make a difference to Lily.

Lily laughed a short, watery laugh.

"Severus, potions can only go so far. He'll have to stop taking them eventually, and then what? He'll just feel like we abandoned him again! What do I do, Sev? Should I just tell him about the time limit so he won't hate James and I?" Lily asked, defeat clearly present in the soft tones of her melodic voice.

"No, don't do that. You were right – he will _not_ be able to move on with his life during this time period, and it will make all of your departure all the worse." Severus thought for another minute. _Why can't I think of _– and then it hit him. _Of course! How could I have been so _stupid_?_

Severus laughed out loud.

"What?" Lily asked, perplexed as to what could possibly be making the laugh at that moment. _Maybe he's finally lost it_, Lily thought to herself.

"I have the answer!" Severus announced. Instantly Severus witnessed hope and happiness flood Lily's gorgeous eyes. For a moment Severus lost his train of thought. He felt as though her eyes had snatched him and pulled him into their depth, losing himself in the process.

"Sev!" Lily exclaimed, bringing him out of his reverie. He shook his head as if to get rid of the lasting effects those eyes had on him.

"Sorry, lost in thought..." Severus trailed, losing himself in her eyes again.

"Sev!" she then yelled. Severus started. He shook his head again, disappointed in his discipline and non-effective hard-hearted ness.

"I'm so sorry, Lily. I don't know why I can't seem to control my mind. Anyhow, I got an answer."

"Well I fathomed as much," she grumbled. Severus almost laughed out loud. Oh how he missed her easily irritable personality.

"Well… you want to help Harry get over things that have been hurting him – correct? Okay sorry, don't answer that, it was a rhetorical question. Anyways, if someone or more than one someone were to help him as well – like, at the same time – then when you guys are not able to continue doing so, they will. Do you understand what I mean, Lil?" Severus asked, not realizing what he was saying until it was too late.

Had he really just called her "Lil" again? Lily couldn't believe it. Severus hadn't called her that since they were in their third year at Hogwarts. Why was he reverting to that habit now? Not that Lily minded at all. In fact, him calling her that was somewhat comforting to her because it proved that he wasn't all dark in there; he still had his sweet, caring, sensitive side. Well, the caring side to him was obvious to anyone who bothered giving him a second glance. Almost everything he did was out of care for others. Lily had to contain a big grin from breaking out across her face. It was likely that Severus hadn't even realized he had said it, but if he did he likely did not want to talk about it and just avoid the subject because he was probably embarrassed or something crazy of the sort.

Severus couldn't believe it; he had called her Lil again. Since when did he ever refer to her – in his thoughts or out loud – to _Lil_? This was beyond anything he ever thought he was capable of. How had his mind picked up that old habit again? He hadn't called her that since… third year? So why now all of a sudden? Maybe it had to do with seeing her again after all of these years. Severus almost sighed out loud. Should he mention it? Oh Gods, no! it was so embarrassing. For goodness sake, what was wrong with him today?

Severus cleared his throat, unsure of how to break the silence that had settled over them.

"Um, so, uh, would you like me to help you find someone to help out Harry?" Severus asked, his awkwardness taking over him. Lily smiled an all-knowing smile at him.

"No don't worry about it – I've already found him," she told him casually. Severus did a double-take.

"Already? You thought of someone _already_? Wow, you work fast," Severus complimented, surprise taking precedence over his previous awkwardness, making his eyes go wide. _I had forgotten how much of a quick thinker she was,_ he said to himself.

"Yep!" she said with that all-knowing smile again. For some reason fear rose in Severus as he saw that smile, but he couldn't fathom why so he just ignored it, irritated with his over-cautious mind.

"And? Are you going to show yourself to them and tell them about the mirror and everything? Or are you just going to convince me to put them and Harry together somehow and just watch it play out?"

"Oh I don't need to tell them anything," she said gaily, examining her nails idly. _She made it sound as though whoever it was already knew what was going on,_ Severus observed.

"What? Why not?" Severus asked her?

"Because they already know everything," she stated emotionlessly.

"What? But then who could that…" and then realization dawned on Severus.

Lily acknowledged the fact that she knew Severus had realized who she had chosen simply by looking up at him through her impossibly long, thick eyelashes with an imploring look.

"Please, Severus? You're the only one I can ever fully trust, and I know for a _fact_ that you're the only one who can help him. Please, Severus?" she practically begged.

Severus stood stock-still at what he would later on realize to be the crossroads of his life.

* * *

HEHEHEHE... :$ Sorry guys. :$ AT LEAST I UPDATED IN THE "1 MONTH" RANGE OKAY?

I'm sorry though that I'm so bad at these updates :$

Forgive me?

I'll know you guys have forgiven me if I get some REVIEWSS! ;)

Honestly please guys just take a moment to give me your thoughts?

Believe me when I say I value each and every one, and if you review I promise to personally reply to each one and dedicate the next chapter to them.

Please?

3

Love you guys.

3

~ZukoLuvahh


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Severus was at a loss for words. What in the world was he supposed to say? He loved Lily, and so he would do anything for her, but he had also despised Harry with a passion and had treated him horrid for the last five years. How in the world was he supposed to get over that? How were _both_ of them supposed to just get over it? Severus finally chose to answer Lily, but he decided to keep his answer more about Harry than himself.

"Lily… look, let's just assume I agree to this, then what? What is Harry going to say? How are you going to be able to talk him into this, and is it fair to put him in a situation like this, Lily? He is going to be most unhappy – you know that. So why fuel an already raging fire?" he asked rhetorically, hoping that he had won his case. He was _not_ good with emotions and awkwardness, which there was a high chance there would be a lot of if he agreed to this.

Lily was silent for a few minutes. She knew that Severus was just trying to get out of it, but he had given Lily something to think about. _Was_ she being fair to Harry? No matter how much he loved them, would she be able to convince him to do something that he probably considered worse than going to the Dursleys? Lily didn't know what to do. She realized that she needed more time to think, and that she also needed to discuss this with James. He trusted her completely to make these kinds of decisions, but she needed to know how he felt about putting Harry in this type of situation, and if it was really fair to him after all.

"Severus, listen, I need to talk to James about this. I know that all you said was to just get out of doing this, but you've actually given me a lot to think about."

Severus examined her face and saw that her forehead was wrinkled in deep thought, and also in confusion. When Lily mentioned the purpose behind his plan he blushed. He hadn't meant to sound like an irresponsible friend or adult… he just couldn't deal with all this kind of stuff. Especially with the other stuff that he had to deal with on a daily basis; the memories… the nightmares… the darkness that constantly plagued him… Voldemort… the Order… so how was he supposed to take care of a child emotionally and physically when he couldn't even take good care of himself?

"Okay, Lily," he replied. "Take as long as you need; I'm not going anywhere." Lily looked directly into his eyes and smiled.

"I know, Sev. I know."

"James?" Lily called after she had said bye to Harry on the mirror.

"Yes, darling?" James voiced, walking out of the kitchen with two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for his beautiful angel and himself. He walked over to the couch that Lily was sitting on and sat beside her, throwing his arm casually around her shoulders. Sirius and Iris had left while Lily had been talking to Severus on the mirror. They had known that Lily would have wanted to speak to James alone, because, after all, Harry was still their son first and then Sirius and Iris' godchild second.

"Do you think I'm a horrible person?" Lily asked, looking up at James' handsome face. James almost spit out the piece of sandwich that he was chewing. After he swallowed with great difficulty he turned to her, his eyes burning with unshed tears of anger and age-old grief.

"Why do you say that, Lily? Did Snape say anything to you?" he asked, angry. He had no more prejudices against the man; however he had been known to make Lily cry in their later school years.

"No, no – of course not! Well, actually, he did, but that's not why I'm upset. He just made me realize a lot, that's all," she answered thoughtfully.

"What did he make you realize, Lily?" he asked her, a little afraid of her answer.

"He made me realize that I am a _horrible_ mother of the worst degree possible." James gasped, startled by her answer.

"Lily! How could you say that! We both know that you are an _amazing_ mother! Don't listen to him, please, Lily? I know that he's your friend and he's changed and all, but I still – " Lily placed her hand over James' mouth gently to stop his angry words.

"No, no, it's not because of Sev, James. I am actually rather grateful to him for making me realize what I did before it was too late." Lily sighed. "I asked Severus to become Harry's guardian and help him through all of the emotional turmoil that he has been through, but, of course, Sev being Sev, he tried to avoid agreeing to my suggestion, making up excuses here and there. However, one of his excuses actually made a lot of sense. I had only thought about Severus' protests; I had never thought about Harry's. Their spiteful relationship had been two-sided, however I only thought about Severus' reaction. Does that make me a bad mother, James? Please be honest," she pleaded.

James looked thoughtful for a few moments.

"It doesn't make you a bad mother, believe me; however it does raise the question as to why even _I_ wouldn't have asked Harry's permission before putting him in Severus' care. Does that make me a bad father too, or does that just make us normal parents? Parents do things for their children's benefit without asking them all the time. We are just like that. We're parents too, Lily, albeit dead ones," James said, winking at Lily. Lily felt the side of her mouth turn up the most of a smile that she could muster. James could always make her feel just a little bit better – enough for her to be able to see through the haze of her over-powering emotions.

"I'm going to ask Harry how he feels about this arrangement. Do you think that that's a good idea, James?" James kissed Lily's forehead.

"Whatever you feel is right. I'll go along with whatever you say, Lilykins," he said before kissing her again.

Severus was sitting in his quarters with a glass of wine in his hand. He had a bad habit of drinking every time something was going wrong, or when he was just upset. Sometimes he ended up knocking himself out with the number of drinks he has. This time, however, he was only allowing himself to have the one glass because he didn't want to be useless should Lily need to speak with him, therefore he was trying to make this one glass last as long as possible.

Severus didn't believe that he had a drinking problem; he just felt like he liked it a lot. When Lily had asked to speak with Severus, he had been sure that she was going to mention this bad habit of his. Since she hadn't, he just assumed that she was maybe condoning his actions, or she didn't see a cause for concern.

Severus told himself that he was really happy with her ignoring the whole situation, but really he was very hurt. He was affecting himself and it looked like she didn't even care. Severus didn't let it get in the way of his decision to, or not to, help her. He was still going to be there for her, even if she didn't care that he was slowly destroying himself.

Severus looked at his glass for a few seconds before downing the rest of it in one gulp. He took the bottle and began pouring himself another glass.

Harry was in the Great Hall eating dinner with Hermione and Ron when he felt his pocket vibrating. He put down his fork and spoon, smiling to himself.

"Harry?" Hermione asked, curious as to why he had stopped eating and why he was getting up.

"Pocket's vibrating," he told the both of them, and they both nodded in understanding.

"Have fun," Ron told him, grinning. Harry clapped him on the back.

"Don't worry, I will, mate," Harry responded before turning around and heading up to the Gryffindor common room.

Harry waited until the portrait of the fat lady was closed and he was sitting in an armchair beside the fire before taking his mirror out of his pocket. At first he only saw his reflection, but then his face began to ripple, and Lily's face replaced his own.

"Harry," she said, more love and warmth in her voice than Harry had ever heard directed towards him in his whole life.

"Mother," he said, with equally the amount of warmth and love. "Did you wish to speak with me, Mother?" he asked her.

"I did, Harry. Well… Harry how do you feel about the Dursleys?" she asked him, trying to figure out a way to broach the topic without upsetting him.

"Um… they're okay, I guess? Why?" Harry was curious as to why his mother was asking him about them.

"How would you feel about never having to go back there again?" Lily asked, her voice uncertain. _She's nervous about something_, Harry realized. The only thing was, he couldn't figure out _what_ she was so nervous about.

"Well… if it were possible… then I would probably buy butterbeers for everyone in Hogwarts if I didn't have to go back." Lily smiled slightly at him.

"It's possible, alright. The only problem is that you might not like whom I choose. Will you promise to keep an open mind, Harry? Please, just trust my judgement. Please?" Lily implored. Harry did not like the sound of where this was going at _all_ – but he did trust his mother, so he was more than willing to try for her sake.

"Of course, Mum," he replied, trying to reassure her (and himself) with a smile. Lily took a deep breath.

"The person I have asked to take care of you… is Severus Snape."

* * *

Oooooo, how is Harry gonna react? :D

Sorry for all the cliffies :$

Anyways, I know you guys must be getting tired of all of the fluff and I'm sorry. Trust me this story IS going somewhere, it's just been going at a slow pace before this. I promise it's going to be going a lot faster now. And thanks to the reviewer who pointed that out to me :)

Anywho, I got a reviewer who asked me the story behind Iris and Sirius.

Well. That is a LONG AS STORY. However, to help you and other readers who haven't read her story, they basically met in school, refused to admit their feelings for each other for a long as time, and then they did and fell in love. Iris was Lily's best friend, as James was Sirius'. They were all best friends and ended up dating and everything. I'm sorry, I know that that is NOT a very good description of their story to people who have actually read it, but that is the quickest summary I can give you guys. :$

Anyways, please review?

Please?

3


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Harry couldn't stop staring at his mother in horror. Did she understand what she was asking? What in the world was wrong with her? How could she even think that he would agree to this?

"Wha-what? ARE YOU INSANE? I don't care if he apologized; going to live with him is suicide! How could you even _ask_ me this? How could you even _think_ of asking me this? Clearly you've been in the clouds to long and have let them gotten to your head. How could you have forgotten everything he's done to me, just because I was Dad's kid? How could you, Mum? Do you even know what you're asking me? Honestly, Mum, I can't even – "

"ENOUGH! HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT TALKING TO YOUR MOTHER THAT WAY?" Harry looked into the mirror in shock; he hadn't even realized when his father had taken the mirror from his mother.

"Da-dad, I – "

"DON'T BOTHER EVEN TRYING TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? YOUR MOTHER WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP _YOU_, AND YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A SELFISH BRAT! MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST _LET_ YOU GO BACK TO THE DURSELYS AND MAKE SURE YOU ARE UNABLE TO GO TO ANYONE ELSE'S HOUSE FOR THE SUMMER."

Harry felt tears welling up in his eyes, something he did not want either of his parents to see.

"I – I have to go," Harry stammered, about to put the mirror down.

"DON'T YOU DARE! YOU ARE NOT GOING _ANYWHERE_!" James yelled, furious beyond all reason. How dare his own flesh and blood speak to Lily that way? How dare their own _son_ make her weep? "Just realize that you will never be speaking to your mother again, do you understand me? You want to send a message to her, you go through me. You don't just make her weep and then feel like you can get away with it. Now leave. Your mother doesn't need to have someone like you near her." The mirror once again only showed Harry his own reflection.

Harry couldn't stop the tears now. In fact, he was sobbing, and he couldn't control it, he realized with a pang. He couldn't believe what his father had said to him. How could he have said such things to him? His own son? _Yeah, well, how could a woman's own son make her cry? It's the same concept, _a voice in Harry's head said to him. Harry almost completely broke down then. How could he have done this to his own mother? Hadn't he always wanted a mother to worry about him, and try to force things that were good for him upon him? Hadn't he always wanted someone to do things like that? Then why had he reacted in such a way when he had finally gotten his own wish?

Harry walked upstairs to his dormitory, hid the mirror in his trunk, and went to his four-poster bed. On his bed he crawled up into a ball and let the regret, guilt, and sadness completely take over him so he was being wracked with heartbroken, regretful, never ending sobs. Eventually he cried himself to sleep, for not the first time in his life.

James almost threw the mirror down in frustration, anger, and burning regret. How had he just lost it like that? He hadn't lost it like that in… well… years. He couldn't even recall ever being so angry before. He sighed before turning to the angel that was curled up around a pillow on their bed.

"Lily," he whispered. When she didn't respond to him, James realized with a pang that she was probably furious with him for hurting their son like that. "Lils, I – I'm sorry. I know that I don't have an excuse for behaving that way, but still. Please, Lils, don't be mad. Please?" James begged, tears filling his eyes. "I'm sorry, Lily. I'm so, so sorry," he finally sobbed.

Not wanting his wife to see him have an emotional breakdown, he got up from the bed and was about to walk away when he felt a hand grab his wrist. They both stayed that way for a couple of minutes before James finally heard some movement on the bed. Finally he felt Lily's arms wrap around him from behind and he felt her head resting against his back. James turned around and crushed her to his chest. That's when he started crying in earnest.

"How could I have said all that to our son, Lily? How?" he croaked, his cascade of tears wetting her hair.

"Shhh," Lily whispered. "It's okay, sweetheart. Just let it out." James gave a harsh laugh.

"Look at me, I'm pathetic; I didn't even ask if you were okay, and you were the one who was truly hurt in this situation." Lily smiled.

"My love, I am fine. I understand why Harry was so angry. Sure, he was really rude and mean about it, but I guess it's understandable. I don't even know why I started crying." Lily sighed.

"I'm so sorry, James. If I hadn't started crying, you wouldn't have had to interfere and you wouldn't be feeling like you are now, because you wouldn't have had to yell at him" Lily sighed again. "I'm so, so sorry, James." James placed his finger on her lips, signalling for her to stop.

"Never apologize for seeking my help. Never. Understand, Lily? I am more than happy to help at any moment of my life, because _you_ are it, and I want to protect my life with all that I am. You mean everything to me, Lily, so please don't apologize. Okay?" James asked, kissing her on the nose. Lily smiled.

"Okay."

After James had calmed down, Lily had walked to her kitchen and began fixing up dinner. As spirits, James and Lily did _not_ have to eat, however they were allowed to indulge if they so wished, and they did. Cooking, baking, and especially eating was something that they both enjoyed, and so did it to calm themselves down. Lily was cooking now because she was trying to prepare herself for the conversation she was going to have with Harry later. She was going to have to reprimand him for the first time in her life, but she couldn't be too harsh with him, as he had just experienced a full-blown yelling from his father. Lily decided that she was going to speak to Harry after his classes the next day, so that he had had some time to calm down and rearrange his thoughts.

Harry woke up the next morning with a headache from crying himself to sleep the night before. At the thought of the previous evening, tears welled up in his eyes. How could he have said any of that stuff to his mother, and how could she have just listened like that, quietly? He was her son; she had every right to scream her head off at him, as his father had done. Harry felt so bad about what James had said. Had he really meant what he said about Harry never getting to speak to his mother again? What was he going to do then? Wow, he had ruined his chance to have a family even with his real parents, and that to only after knowing them for a couple of weeks. Oh well. He would be back at the Dursleys soon, and all the chores and heat would help him forget about everything else.

After 20 minutes of trying to go back to sleep, Harry gave up and decided to begin his day. He opened his curtains to see everyone else still sleeping. He looked at the window and saw that it was barely dawn. Highlights of pink were just beginning to touch the sky.

Harry went to his trunk and got out a pair of jeans and a red striped t-shirt. He changed, grabbed the defence book that Sirius had given him for Christmas, and walked down the spiralling staircase and into the common room. It was still a bit chilly because of the early hours, so Harry settled down in one of the arm chairs across the fire that was still burning even at this hour.

Harry hadn't bothered bringing the mirror with him, because he knew he would just be distracted by it the entire day. Even though they weren't learning anything because exams had ended, there were still classes scheduled, so people went to class just to socialize. (AU: in this fic I'm making it so that the OWLS are scheduled before the rest of the school's exams) They weren't allowed to go outside or go visit any of the other teachers because other than the fifth and seventh years, all of the other years had their exams coming up in about a week. Harry didn't even want to go to class since there was nothing going on; however he didn't want his friends to realize that something was wrong.

After about an hour, Harry decided to go down to breakfast before Hermione and Ron could make an appearance, as he still needed a few minutes to put together his façade. As Harry walked down to breakfast, he pulled forth his best memories with all of his loved ones, hoping that those memories would assist in his efforts to uplift his mood, but to no avail. He reached the Great Hall feeling just as dejected as before, if not more. Harry sat down by himself, eating as quickly as he could. He couldn't face Hermione and Ron – not yet. They would interrogate him until he finally caved and told them what was bothering him. Once he finished breakfast he rushed up to his first class – Transfiguration and waited for it to begin. He was a good 45 minutes early so he didn't think that Ron and Hermione would try and look for him there. He felt bad trying to avoid them like this but he really didn't have any other choice.

The only problem with Harry being that early to class was that it gave him too much free time so he ended up dwelling on the situation with his parents a lot more than he had initially wanted to.

Harry still didn't know what to do. He knew that most of his friends would just contact their parents anyway and apologize to them, but because Harry was communicating with his _dead_ parents, and they had a choice whether or not to ever associate themselves with him again, he didn't know if the same rules and actions applied to his situation. He knew that he should probably try and talk to his parents and apologize like nobody's business, but his father's angry words kept lashing at him inside his mind, always reverting him back to his original decision of not speaking with his parents to keep them happy.

As Harry continued to sit at his desk and just dwell on what happened between him and his parents, he didn't notice that the other students began to file and the classroom slowly got filled. Two of the last people to file in were Ron and Hermione, looking stressed. When they saw Harry they rushed over to him and were about to speak when Professor McGonagall walked in. Since Neville was already sitting beside Harry, they both moved to the last pair of desks in the room since those were the only desks that were not occupied so far.

Harry thanked his stars that today their Transfiguration class was only theoretical work so Hermione and Ron didn't have a chance to interrogate him, however throughout the entire class he could feel their eyes on him and Professor McGonagall even had to reprimand them for speaking throughout her class on more than one occasion. That was not like Hermione to condone that kind of behaviour coming from herself or anyone else. That frightened Harry, knowing that now that she was absolutely determined to speak with him, there was no possible way that he could continue to successfully avoid her and had to prevent himself from cursing out loud.

After Transfiguration was over, Harry made a snap decision to approach Professor McGonagall in an important "private" conversation so it would allow him to escape Ron and Hermione; they all had Potions next and Hermione would never dare be late to Potions. Now all Harry had to figure out was a topic that seemed private and important enough that McGonagall would allow him to be late for his next class – especially considering that it was Potions.

Harry finally decided to talk about becoming an Auror with her again and then somehow connecting it to Sirius so that it would pull on the sympathy strings of McGonagall's heart. Harry was desperate to find any way to completely avoid Ron and Hermione once again.

"Um, Professor?" Harry exclaimed as soon as McGonagall had dismissed the class. He saw Ron and Hermione approaching him in his peripheral vision. McGonagall turned towards him slowly; she had never heard him say her name so anxiously before.

"Mr. Potter? Is everything alright?" she asked him, slightly worried. Harry looked slightly pale and she could see that his face was all sweaty. "Potter, come here," she ordered, uncharacteristically softer than usual.  
Harry could have jumped for joy – he might be able to avoid Hermione and Ron after all. His plan might not be working as he originally thought it would, but it was working all the same and that was what mattered.

McGonagall put her palm on Harry's forehead and was worried to find that he actually was actually quite warm. If her "diagnosis" was correct, Harry had quite a high fever.

"Potter! If I am not mistaken, you have quite the fever. I want you in the hospital wing immediately. I would have escorted you myself had I not had a staff meeting to attend too, but since I cannot, I will have Ms. Granger and Mr. Weasley here escort you." Harry blanched.

"Professor, honestly, that won't be necessary. I'm actually feeling a lot better! Please – don't send me with – to the hospital wing! Please don't send me there; Lord knows I spend too much time in there as it is!"

"And who's fault would that be, Mr. Potter? There will be no arguments. Ms. Granger, if you could please…?" McGonagall gestured to Harry.

"Oh of course, Professor! Come on, Harry, time to go to the hospital wing," Hermione said softly to Harry, as if she were speaking to a small child. She felt a flutter of hope. Maybe this was why Harry was avoiding her and Ron – because he didn't want to get admitted into the hospital wing. Hermione almost sighed in relief when all of a sudden Harry ripped his arm from her hand.

"I don't need your help Hermione – nor do I want it! Don't you both get it? I don't want to talk to the both of you – SO STOP FOLLOWING ME!" Harry shouted. He saw Hermione's eyes fill with tears and Ron's with disappointment and then anger.

"DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO HER THAT WAY!" Ron yelled enraged. erHerArryHarrHermione dashed to him, holding his arm fearfully.

"Ron, don't! We don't understand what Harry's going through," Hermione tried justifying Harry's actions before Ron cut her off.

"Hermione, it doesn't matter what he's going through! Harry doesn't have the right to be a total prat to people that would obviously do anything for him. Harry doesn't have a right to be a total prat to us just because we're concerned about him – and he ought to have learned that by now!" Ron finished, seething more than he ever had before.

"Well if that's truly how you feel then I'll just leave so you don't have to deal with me being a prat just because you guys fucking care!"

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed, aghast.

"Just shut the fuck up, Hermione. No one cares about you and your goody-two-shoes ness. Just get the fuck out of my life!"

"Mr. Potter! How dare you?" McGonagall exclaimed. All throughout the argument she had remained silent, hoping that if she weren't to interrupt, they would solve the issue that had so obviously arisen between the trio, but this was just going too far. "How dare you speak to her in that manner? How dare you speak to anyone in that manner?"

"It's really quite simple, Professor."

"Potter!" McGonagall cried, furious beyond belief.

"It's fine, Professor – he's just really upset right now."

"That doesn't mean he has any right to treat you this way, Ms. Granger." Hermione just looked down at her feet, obviously not believing the Professor's words.

"Whatever, I'm outta here," Harry said, rolling his eyes.

Harry walked straight out of the room, not bothering to look back even once.

* * *

*ducks the rocks and every other object imaginable being thrown at her*

I take it a simple sorry won't suffice?

O.O

I'm sorry X Infinity and Beyond.

I know I don't deserve it but...

PLEASE REVIEW? :D

3

Love you guys forever.

It's all of you who keep me going.

And thanks to everyone who has had patience with me, and to all the newer people who subscribed or favourited despite knowing I update after long whiles.

O.O

Thanks so much again.

Words cannot describe how much I appreciate it and love it.

3


	23. Chapter 23

**Dead or Alive – Chapter 23**

Lily clutched James' arm, her eyes brimming in tears.

"Why is he acting this way?" she whispered, pain saturating her voice. James' arm tightened around his wife.

"I don't know, Lily, but I'm sure it's just a phase, or maybe the Golden Trio had a fight that we missed or something," James lied, trying to placate his wife. Lily sighed.

"I guess... I hope you're right though, James," Lily said, chewing on her bottom lip. She was very worried about her son; she had _never_ seen him act that way to _anyone_ before – not even the Durselys.

James on the other hand knew _exactly_ why his son was acting that way, because he used to act the same way every time _he_ used to have a fight with his parents. However, Lily was unaware of all of this, therefore he vowed to himself that he would try and talk to Harry when Lily wasn't around. James knew that he had definitely over-reacted and Harry was probably just acting out of fear. He therefore promised himself to speak to his son later on, almost desperate to clean up this mishap.

As soon as Harry left Professor McGonagall's office, he realized what a big mistake he had made. How could he have spoken to the person who had been his sister and had stuck by his side his entire life like that? How could he have spoken to his _mother_ like that? What in the world was wrong with him today?

Harry continued to walk around the corridors, not wanting to go to Defence Against the Dark Arts today. After Umbridge's attack in the Forbidden Forest, the school had neglected to hire another teacher just for the remaining couple weeks of school, therefore any free teacher would just come and supervise the class while the students either did other work or fooled around. Obviously most students (partially even Hermione at this point) were more interested in doing the later.

Harry didn't know what he was going to do. He could go to the library if he wanted, but, really, what was he going to accomplish there? He finally decided on just practicing his flying for a bit. He ran to the Gryffindor Tower, wheezed out the password to the Fat Lady, and ran up to his dorm room. He didn't want to linger there because then he knew that he would be tempted to try and use the mirror. So, as fast as he could, he rummaged around his trunk looking for his Firebolt. Once he felt his hand close around the handle, he pulled it out quickly and then went back to rummaging around it for some of his protective flying gear. Now that he knew that his mother could watch him (although at this point, why would she even want to?) from where she was, he was determined to try and look just slightly a bit more responsible so that his parents wouldn't regret their decision of sacrificing their lives for his even more than he was sure they already did.

Harry felt hot tears prick his eyes. No. He was NOT going to cry because of something that was entirely HIS fault. It was his fault completely that his parents now felt this way. He had no right to cry over something that was so obviously avoidable, yet he had to act like a stupid moron about it to his mother. If only there was some way to make it up to her that didn't count as Harry actually communicating with her or sending her a direct message….

Harry sat up straight as if he had been shocked straight to the core. That was it! It was so SIMPLE! Harry couldn't understand why it had taken him this long to actually discover this method of forgiveness seeking.

Harry dumped all of his flying gear back into his trunk and began running as fast as possible to the one place that he had never thought he would find any sort of peace or comfort. He practically flew down all those flights of stairs and down all those corridors on the way to what he now believed he was going to have to consider some sort of abode for himself if his plan was to succeed.

Harry came to a stop outside the door of the office of the most feared Potions Master that Hogwarts had ever had. Harry hesitated slightly before knocking three times on the door of who used to be his mother's best friend's office. At first Harry thought that maybe he had been absolutely idiotic in coming now as the man was probably not even there because he must be teaching a class. As Harry was beginning to walk away from the Professor's door, he heard sounds behind the door. He turned and walked back those few steps to the door – not wanting to look like he was hesitating in front of the Professor, or his mother. He wanted to make as good an impression as possible. It was a few more moments before he heard the lock behind the door moving. Suddenly the door opened and there stood Severus Snape.

To say he was surprised would have been an understatement for Severus Snape. He couldn't understand why Harry Potter would be standing at his office door in the middle of the day. Then it hit him. _Oh, he's probably here because of Lily or her arrangement or something. Now how in the world am I supposed to act to this spoiled "Hero"? It is going to be a major pain in the - _

"Professor?" Harry brought Snape out of his reverie.

"Yes, Potter?" he said after a moment's hesitation. _I can't believe I am already struggling with this when I have literally only spoken two words to the stup – to the boy. _

"Um, Professor, if, uh, if it's okay with you, I, uh," Harry paused for a second, gathering all his Gryffindor bravery, "I accept your offer."

* * *

Hey guyss.

I'm so sorry for everything :(

Thanks so much for whoever has stuck with me 3

Honestly I know I don't deserve it, but reviews really do help motivate me :)

Please tell me what you guys think so far!


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